Paper Clips and Yoghurt Lids - The Official Diary of Pam Beesly

January 21, 2004

8:29am

Good morning, diary!
And must I say:

happy BELATED NEW  YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I haven't wrote in you for a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG time but bear with me, I have been reeeeeeeeeeally busy prepping for the BIG documentary. It's FINALLY HAPPENING!!!!! :) :) :)

I know. Last time I left off, I wrote how the Christmas party ended with my stupid drunken self regretting AGREEING to Michael's wish for an American version of The Office to be filmed at OUR branch. And it's not like I ONE HUNDRED PERCENT want this. I was tipsy, okay? Can't everyone grow up and realize that this was announced at a frickin' CHRISTMAS PARTY?!

Yes, diary, it's not that easy. There's still a FIFTY PERCENT of me that is skeptical about this whole thing, that it will even be as GOOD or popular as the original or will just be cancelled and criticized by the media, which would be HUMILIATING! Do we even have permission from David Brent and his office that we are ALLOWED to do this? PLAGIARISM!!!!! :0 :0

But there is still a part of me, the other FIFTY PERCENT, that believes that this show, filmed in DUNDER MIFFLIN, SCRANTON, could align with The Office. I admit we do work in an incredulous environment, with an odd bunch of workers. 

Michael would make a very charismatic fellow on camera that would make the viewer laugh. I can imagine "That's what she said" printed on T-shirts and mugs, and Michael becoming a comedic icon like David Brent is, but the only problem is if Michael's jokes get too inappropriate. Our show could get taken off the air :( 

Dwight's neuroses, philosophical quotes and farming beets on Schrute Farms might gain him a cult following in pop culture, who knows?

Jim would DEFINITELY win some hearts over with his mega-cuteness and goofy personality, diary. I would NOT at all be surprised if he would get a huge fanbase...he IS true office hunk material :)

As for me...hmm. I'm still deciding whether I would fit into the criteria of a documentary. Not that there's anything wrong with me...I just don't think I'm THAT interesting, you know? And I look like what I am...if that makes sense :(

For starters, Roy and I attended a high school reunion last year. One of the girls I might have had some beef with back in the day made some small talk with me. The conversation was just going really well when she asked, "So, what are you doing for a living right now?"

And I blurted, "I'm a receptionist that works for a paper company."

Immediately, it was as if she had swallowed a fly. She made this puked out face and then made an excuse to back away from me, like she should have known all these years that I was the most plain, boring, officey person ever.

"I'm off to art school, though!" I called over my shoulder, but she was long gone. It seemed that everyone there shunned me after that.

Speaking of SHUNNING...

After the holiday break, of course, EVERYONE has shunned Dwight and me, including Jim, who won't pick up the phone when I want to talk to him. Understandably :( :( 

Roy still talks to me, but if he wasn't my partner he would be giving me the cold shoulder too. Everyone HAS to talk to Michael because he's our boss and nobody wants to be paid less or fired (maybe Stanley).

 Dwight doesn't seem to mind, mostly because Jim won't prank him. For me, though, I have FEELINGS *Sobs* 

 Today marks the THIRD week since I have felt isolated: I am eating with Dwight in the break room (which is actually not that bad), I have no choice but to use hand gestures when I need to use the printer, Angela and Kelly scream and immediately sprint in the other direction when they bump into me at the coffee machine like I carry an infectious disease, and I arrive at my desk full of sticky notes with death threats from the "Scranton Strangler".

Which is just a silly nickname for a combination of Toby, Angela, Kelly, Oscar and Kevin from accounting. I know their different handwriting all too well :0                                                                Maybe "death threats" is kind of an exaggeration. These are some that I have received:

 "WE WILL GIVE YOU THE WORST PAPERCUT POSSIBLE" (Still hasn't happened yet, and I've learned from working here that a papercut can't be done on purpose. A paper related injury can only be accidental).

"WE HAVE STOLEN YOUR NOTEPADS AND NOTEBOOKS" (Luckily I still have you, diary).

  "YOU WILL HAVE TO USE TOILET PAPER TO WRITE FROM NOW ON" (At least they haven't stopped me from using toilet paper in the bathroom).

We have worked in a paper company for so long that all the "threats" we can possibly come up with are to do with PAPER. I'm not sure about Angela, but I think the majority of the office have moved on from this. Now they are just writing me notes and staying silent for the fun of it :D

Plus, they can't avoid me for long. We are working in an OFFICE.

But when he sees stuff like this, Michael is really kind and compassionate. It's not just because he's boss and has to be aware of these things...it's in his blood. He asked me if I was all right and said that I could relocate to his office if I wasn't comfortable at the front desk. 

He arranged a conference room meeting to discuss what happens next in the documentary process and formally answer any questions that we may have, which is TODAY! I wonder what Michael means by "formal", because that could mean ANYTHING. 

But let's see, shall we? ;)