Paper Clips and Yoghurt Lids - The Official Diary of Pam Beesly

December 13, 2003

-Jim's counterpart is...well, Tim Canterbury. I could think of SO MANY things that make them SO similar - their cute scruffy hair with bangs brushing their eyes, their cheeky grin, their mischief. As I watch the episodes over and over, I can't help but wonder whether like Tim playing pranks on Gareth, Jim is playing pranks on Dwight to... sort of impress me? I know I shouldn't be taking too much of this documentary into real life...even if it is a reality show. Jim has always been a prankster before we even knew that The Office was on air, so that can't be it...

But it seems like he is waiting for a reaction from me. Whenever he swivels around from his desk to look at me proudly like I've done it, I've fooled Dwight, I always smile or cover my mouth to stop myself from laughing :)

-Dwight is clearly Gareth Keenan, but Dwight is honored with this fact. As he should be :) They are both gullible, impatient and arrogant. OK, maybe that wasn't a nice description... Well, they are hardworking...both served in the army...and seem to both know survival tips if we ever found ourselves stranded on a desert island ;) 

Enough of my rambling and back to the horrendous conversation :(

"Are you crazy, Michael?! What were you THINKING? Ours is NEVER gonna top the original!" Oscar said.

"We all work in an office, Michael. So WHAT?" Angela said with a scoff. "Is this gonna be your next attempt at Hollywood gone WRONG?"

"You are a hottie in that Santa suit and I could TOTALLY bang you anytime, but I don't think I could come to terms with this," Meredith added.

Michael replied with a "That's what she said" as we all gagged and groaned at Meredith's response.

"Please think more about this, Michael," Phyllis sighed. "It may sound good at first but it really won't work out for us."

"I don't want people to JUDGE me!" Kevin whined, clutching his stomach. I felt bad for him :(

"I'm gonna straight up QUIT if this goes ahead," grunted Stanley. He walked up to Michael and wagged his finger in front of him. "I've had enough of your ridiculous decisions. You are a selfish prick of a boss who only cares about himself!"

He got away with that comment from Michael only because, yes, he was partly drunk. But you don't want to mess around with Stanley when he is angry with you. Michael was too scared to open his mouth. The first one to leave, Stanley grabbed his briefcase and left the office with a loud SLAM.

"If Stanley doesn't convince him that this is a bad idea, nobody will," Roy whispered in my ear.

At the exact moment, Jim leaned in to whisper in my other ear. "I can't believe this, Pam..."

But he didn't get to finish. Noticing this and obviously not happy, Roy came behind him and slapped his palm on Jim's shoulder, making him jump. "Hey, Halpert, watcha doin whisperin' sweet nothings to my girl, eh..."

"Roy, please, it was nothing..." I began, but he didn't hear me.

I WAS FREAKING OUT, DIARY! I'VE KNOWN ALL TO WELL THAT WHEN ROY GETS MAD, HE WILL HAPPILY CRUSH YOU WITH THE FORKLIFT IN THE WAREHOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!

Jim immediately stepped back, holding his hands up. "Sorry for the confusion, Roy," he said. "I was just telling Pam how much Michael is just playing around with us. If there was ever a remake WE could not be the ones to do it."

"Actually, Jimothy, we would be," Dwight called. "Michael has already signed the papers." 

Jim ran his fingers through his hair and cursed under his breath. "If there's one thing that I've learned from working as paper salesman, its that signing a piece of paper means literally nothing."

"But because we work at a paper company, it DOES," Dwight argued, who hadn't said his opinion on this until now. "Which is why I believe that the sensible way to go about this is AGREE with this decision. I stand with Michael." He stood up and walked over to sit on Michael's lap.

All we could do was just stare after him in silence as Michael high fived him and said "HO HO HO! SANTA SCOTT THINKS YOU ARE A VEEEEERY GOOD BOYYYYYYYYYY!" 

"How dare YOU!" Angela screeched. 

"Monkey, it will be hard at first, but we will come through..." Dwight began.

"That's what she said!" Michael sang. "It seems that apart from Schrutey boy, you have been very BAD children! This is not how Santa Scott raised his elves to be! You haven't even given your Christmas wishes to him yet..."

 Jim begged Michael with all his heart to reject the offer.

He even tugged on Michael's Santa sleeve. "We have one Christmas wish, Santa Scott" - Michael will only take us seriously at Christmastime if we call him Santa Scott - "and that is for you to NOT go ahead with this offer. Please. Apart from Dwight, who sides with you on EVERYTHING, none of us wanna do it."

"Wanna do what?" asked Creed, who had come out of the bathroom.

At exactly the WRONG time. Why couldn't Creed have stayed in the bathroom for ten minutes reading our magazines like he usually did? :( :(