Strangers, Again

Tee Shirt

Tee Shirt by Birdy

________

Y/N's POV

It's only been three weeks since she broke up with me. Like my previous nights, reality keeps coming at me like waves, and for the most part, it would remind me how no matter what I do, and how passionate I love someone, in the end, I'm still left with nothing but a broken heart. It didn't take much energy for me to comprehend the situation because they're easy to understand. Everything was good, until they weren't. The way things turned out felt like I was sucker punched. There was no warning signs. It happened way too sudden.

I'm utterly dismantled from the inside. Mentally, I have nothing left in me. The gaping hole continues to grow every day, and it's only a matter of time before I obliterate everything around me. I'm exhausted to my limit even though I haven't done much today. Maybe it's the fact that I spent all day crying my heart out, but whatever it is, I didn't want to live anymore.

With my thoughts drowning me uncontrollably, I mindlessly went outside and ran. I have no destination in my mind, but instead, I allowed my emotions and feet to control wherever my heart desires to go. Every step is weighted, it hurts. Flashes of our memories came before me, driving me to my absolute breaking point. Tears pooled out of my eyes easily. I don't think I've ran faster like this before, but I'm giving everything I got. My sobs were as broken as ever. How do I come back from this?

I didn't even realize where my feet led me to until I found myself knocking frantically at her door. I couldn't keep my emotions at bay anymore. My chest heaves with every breath that I take, and they sting like fire is coursing through my veins. I clutched on my chest, hoping that somehow, in some way, it would hurt a little less. But, it didn't. When the door finally opened, I broke down completely.

"I don't know what to do..." My lips quivered along with my chest. "Everything hurts and I feel like someone just ripped my heart out. Please, tell me if it gets better. I don't know how long I can take this. I just want the pain to stop. Please help me."

"Y/N, come here." Rosie pulled me in, rubbing my back soothingly. "It's okay. Let it all out. Cry if you need to. No one said this will be easy because it's not. Letting go is never an easy thing to do. No matter how many times you've rehearsed it, no matter how many times you've played it in your head, it never goes as planned and almost always does it sting a little harder than you thought."

Rosie cradled me together as I sunk to the ground, "How come she doesn't want me? I thought that I was enough. She said she would choose me over him, but she's gone. She left with him. I can't do this anymore, Rosie. It hurts too much."

"I know it does."

"I'm leaving in a couple of days." I pulled myself together. "There's nothing left for me here. And I'm never coming back. This is the last place I want to be. I'm sorry that I'm leaving you, but I can't spend another day here. I hate this city."

"I understand. Don't be sorry. Do what you have to do. And if it makes you feel better, I fully support that."

-

I didn't know how much I was thinking of that day. Maybe it's because I've been cooped up inside of my office, working hours on end for this melancholic instrumental soundtrack that I began to daydream of that specific moment. If I'm being honest with myself, I wasn't planning on leaving LA. It didn't cross my mind until I was on the floor, crying my heart out while Rosie was trying her best to calm me down.