10. Uncertainty

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"Is everyone ready?" Jorge asked as we gathered in front of the Berg.
I glanced around the group. Minho had an arm around Francesca's shoulders and was stroking her upper arm reassuringly. He was carrying a backpack that someone must have stolen from WICKED at some point, in which he must have his things and hers. Hanging from his belt was a pistol in reverse. Francesca had my old knife tucked in her waistband, for I myself had decided only minutes ago that I would bequeath it to her, after all I had my very own good luck charm - Newt's knife.
Yes, it was the knife by whose blade he had died, but it had been his. And that was enough to make it exceedingly valuable to me. I carried it along with my pistol in the back of my waistband, just as I always had before. I also had on the backpack that had provided me with provisions every day in the Maze.
"Present and ready to pile out," Fry Pan replied and I knew it was supposed to sound funny, however the joke didn't quite succeed in the situation.
I saw him give a cursory glance to Harriet, who was standing a bit off to the side with Vince, Sonya, Aris and Heath, wave to the others, shoulder his pack and rifle, and follow Jorge and Brenda up the loading ramp of the Berg.
"Well then, let's go," Gally said, walking over to Heath, patting him on the shoulder, nodding to our remaining friends, and disappearing into the Berg as well, his bag and rifle over his right shoulder, pistol and knife on his belt.
Minho and Francesca hugged Vince, then the girl turned to her two friends Sonya and Aris and held them a little longer than normal. Silently, with tears in her eyes, she turned away and got into our means of travel, Minho following her in an embarrassed manner.
Now only Thomas, who also carried a backpack and his pistol in reverse on his pants, and I were left. We turned to Vince and the others. There was still displeasure in the man's eyes, but also another emotion - concern.
"We're going to make it, Vince. Don't worry about it," Thomas said, patting him on the back as they hugged.
Vince nodded silently and then hugged me, murmuring in my ear, "Watch out for these folks. I want you all to come back, you hear?"
I nodded and hugged him a little tighter, then said goodbye to the rest of them and entered the Berg with Thomas.
We turned around, waved again, and watched as the ramp slowly closed. As Thomas was about to turn around and join the others in the hold, I grabbed his left hand. Our palms didn't touch for long, just seconds, but it was enough to let him know what I had realized in the shower.
Thomas frowned and looked at me in surprise. I shrugged, then a feeling ran through me that told me we would figure it out together. I nodded, and a smile now played around my lips. Then we disengaged from each other again and turned to face our friends.
Brenda eyed us with a furrowed brow and a questioning look, but I pretended nothing had happened as I sat down between her and Francesca. Minho handed me a cheese sandwich over his girlfriend that Fry Pan must have passed out before he disappeared into the cockpit with Jorge.
Thomas sat down across from us next to Gally, who was in the process of stocking his rifle with ammunition. Brenda also reloaded her pistol and then passed the pack to me. The ground vibrated beneath our feet and the Berg took off.
After a few minutes, when we had reached cruising altitude, Fry Pan came back into the cargo hold and sat down next to Gally. No one said anything; we kept silent, aware of the danger we might be putting ourselves in. Everyone replenished their weapons, checked their pockets, and then stared ahead.
The uncertainty made me half sick. I knew even less than my friends; after all, they were keeping something from me. Every now and then Thomas's and my eyes met, but of course I could only read as much uncertainty in his as I felt myself.
At some point I decided that I should try to get some sleep. We wouldn't arrive until mid-afternoon, and we definitely wouldn't have much time to sleep that night. Besides, I could feel the constant sound of the rotors and the slight vibration of the ground beneath my feet making me sleepy despite my excitement.
I silently rose from my folding seat, grabbed a sleeping bag from the corner where Fry Pan and Gally had thrown it, and spread it out against the wall. Then I slipped off my sneakers and lay down.
"Maybe not a bad idea," I heard Gally mutter.
"Gally's right, we should all try to get some sleep. Get comfortable and get some rest," Thomas nodded and came over to lay next to me.
"I'm going to Jorge's," Brenda said and disappeared into the cockpit where I heard her laughing moments later.
The others also each grabbed a sleeping bag and made themselves comfortable around us. I turned to the wall and closed my eyes, but sleep would not come.
After some time, when I could already hear my friends breathing quietly, I turned back to my right side and found that Thomas couldn't sleep either, because he was looking at me steadfastly.
So we lay there for a few minutes, looking at each other and listening to Fry Pan's soft snoring and Francesca's restless movements as she seemed to have a nightmare.
"I'm scared, Tommy," I whispered at one point.
He closed his eyes, reached out a hand to me and clasped mine. Then he nodded, his eyes still closed.
"So am I."
And then I did fall asleep, with the assurance his warm hand in mine gave me that I didn't have to be alone with my dreams today.

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