Until She Was Gone

Chapter 36 | under the moonlight

It felt like all the air had been sucked from my lungs.

My heart thumped wildly as I, without another glance at anyone, pushed my way out of the hall.

I needed to get out.

I didn't look at Brady. I didn't look for Austin. Nor did I seek out Izzy or Becca. 

I just stumbled out of the double doors of the hall and made my way out of the building.

The whole way, I was gasping for air. The noise around me faded into a buzz and I went further and further away out of the college building.

Through the winding hallways I walked, once almost tripping over my silver gown.

I needed air.

The closest exit way was the back door. Which led to the small woods located there. And the field.

Where Austin confessed his love for me.

This time though, sharp pain did not hit me that much.

I regretted my decision, yes, but I couldn't manipulate my feelings could I?

That was simply impossible.

When I finally exited the building, I felt a sense of relief. I took a deep breath and tilted my head towards the night sky. I released my black curls from their high bun and shook them out.

Deep breath in.

Deep breath out.

I felt my pulse slowing down. I felt myself calm down.

The stars in the night twinked slightly. But not many were visible due to the full shining moon rising above the clouds. The light of the campus prevented me from getting the full natural view of the sky.

So I started moving further away from Merlac and closer to the woods. Going somewhere in the dark never really scared me. Especially if it was outside.

So, I took the heels I was wearing into my hands and entered the trees. The grass on my bare feet tickled and I sighed in relief.

I reached a tree and leaned against it, my pulse slowing down with each second.

I shut my eyes for a while.

" Sylvia," a voice said suddenly from the trees.

I did not need to open my eyes to know who was there. I recognized his voice like it was the map of my hands.

" Why are you here?" I rasped, still not opening my eyes. 

My face was tilted towards the sky, the darkness enveloping around us. The air that felt tight around only me before, started to let him in too.

Brady.

" I was worried. Maybe you shouldn't be out in the dark alone"

When he said that, I snapped my eyes open again.

" Really? You think I am a helpless girl who needs saving? Get out of here." I snapped at him.

His figure was in the shadows, not that close to me. I could see the lining of his suit through the moonlight. I saw him lifting his hands up.

" We all know what happened last time." he said in a blank voice. I hated that voice. It got on my nerves. Badly.

" I wasn't prepared. And, you have no idea who he was. You have no idea what I felt. But this time, if that man comes, I will rip him into shreds with my bare hands and feed him to the wolves." I growled. I meant it. I would kill him. Bloodily. 

I didn't care if it was murder. He commited murder.

But I really didn't want to think about him right now.

" Wolves do not exist here." he said.

" You don't know that. Maybe I'll find one to feed your body to." I hissed. I didn't know why I was still talking. Somehow though, it felt good snapping at him.

Or, just talking to someone now.

I heard him sigh. He stepped a few steps closer to me.

Now I could see those sharp angles of his face and deep blue eyes.

He looked ready to be ravished.

I tore my gaze away before I could be distracted. Or I already was. 

Since long ago

" I'm sorry okay?" his voice wasn't entirely blank now.

" For what?" I crossed my arms over my chest.

" For everything." he said quietly, now emotions slowly seeping in.

" Am I supposed to cheer now?" I said,

He let out a loud purposeful sigh.

" Please."

" What please?"

He came closer. I could slightly feel his breath over me now. I tilted my head up to him. Everything was clear.

But in the moonlight, it looked even more handsome.

" Please listen to me."

" I want to say no." I said, " but fine"

" Come inside." his voice was still quiet.

" No."

" Please"

" When I say No, I mean it Brady."

I looked down to see his fists clenching and unclenching. His body twitched as if he wanted to do something and was holding back to himself. He closed his eyes shut. His dark lashes fluttered against his upper cheek and his hair blew in the wind.

Could I ever meet anyone as gorgeous as him?

" Via." he whispered.

" What?"

" Do you not feel it?" he said, opening his eyes again. He gazed at me like I would at the stars.

" Feel what?"

" I can't control myself anymore. I promised myself."

" What kind of feeling is that?" I couldn't help but be snarky with each sentence. I knew I was probably pissing him off now.

His intense gaze turned even more intense with each passing second. His eyes trailed down my face, down my body.

When he looked up, I saw darkness in those eyes.

I craved that darkness. So so badly.

Dangerous darkness.

Make me forget. Make me forget Brady.

" What feeling?" I repeated, this time my voice as low and breathy as his.

His voice was scraped and heavy as he said,

" This feeling"

And crashed his lips to mine.