Until She Was Gone

Chapter 47 | the root of everything

" Austin."

 My voice came out in a breathy whisper. His blonde hair was ruffled. His eyes bore exhaustion and weariness in them.

We were in the same soccer field where he had confessed his love for me. This was the first place I went to after visiting Brady. 

I somehow simply knew he was going to be here. Or I had hoped.

And my hope had turned out to be real.

He was there, a silhouette present beneath the bright afternoon noon sun. He seemed so utterly lonely, when I caught sight of him dribbling the same football I had smashed into the goalpost.

My heart clenched into a little ball of breathlessness.

What had I done?

He turned towards me, with an openly vulnerable face that made my pain double further.

He visibly swallowed. His eyes darted around. But soon enough, they connected with mine. 

I realized a tiny bit of sparkle had gone from Austin's light green eyes. They were always so full of playfulness and adoration. I had become used to it.

" Sylvia." His mouth formed my name and some tension got released from my shoulders. He didn't seem furious. That was good.

He took a few steps towards me. Before I knew it, he was close enough for our foreheads to tough. 

Then as if he couldn't control it, he wrapped his arms softly around me. His head rested on my shoulder and I wrapped my arms around him as well.

His body felt cold, unlike Brady's, which was as hot as burning fire.

The embrace, unlike his previous ones, seemed different. It was as if he knew that I was no longer his, and that he had accepted it.

It was a best friend embrace.

" God's you're alright. " he sighed. He broke our connection and stood a respectable distance away.

" Austin--"

" Whatever you are going to say, its not worth anyone's time." he said.

For a moment, I freezed.

Now this was the part.  

This is where I'm going to lose the person I've depended on for so much time.

In a way, it seemed strange that I was choosing Brady over him.

But it's just when your heart knows the right person, it cannot accept another.

And my one person was Brady, who brought a fiery passion into my sizzling veins. No one else could.

 Trying was a tremendous failure. 

Austin's pale skin stood out even more behind the backdrop of green trees. A small smile suddenly graced his playful features.

" I forgive you." Austin said softly.

I was still frozen for one more moment, not believing what I heard.

" I forgive you Sylvia." he said and put a hand around my cheek.

" I could never be mad at you. And you know, maybe you weren't meant for me. Maybe I never really loved you like my brother did.

And yes, it will hurt for a while but I'll be happy you're with who you want to be with. Even if its my brother." he said the last part extremely quietly, making me think there was more to this than I knew.

" You deserve a much better person than me." I said, shaking my head.

" Not really."Austin said, hanging his head and looking at the grass.

I tilted my head a bit questioningly. What made him think that?

Austin lifted his head and looked at the sky now. He was looking everywhere except at me. Then, he laughed softly, as if nostalgic about something. But it didn't really seem like the best memory.

" Its karma Sylvia. If I hadn't believed in it in the beginning, now I do. Cycle of everything comes to the same point sometimes.

2 years ago, Brady was in love with this girl. He was completely infatuated. But the girl you see, wasn't in love with him. She--she seemed nice until her devil horns were shone. She was in love with me.

But I didn't know that, no one did, until she once trapped me into a room when I was completely intoxicated at a party. I didn't know what the hell she did. But by the end we were riding upon the covers." 

Austin shook his head and every bit of guilt shone off him. There was so much goodness in this boy that my heart ached for him.

" And of course someone would take a video, and of course rumors would be spread. Brady's heart was broken. But he forgave me, he accepted that she was a bitch and trapped me in a tipsy state. He forgave me, even while he knew it was completely my fault--"

" No it was not." My voice was firm with sharp tinges in them. How could he think that?

" But--But isn't' this rape then? This girl--

" Not really. We didn't exactly have sex." Austin finally met my eyes. I released a long breath I didn't know I was holding.

" Oh gods." I shook my head. " That's--brutal."

Oh Brady. What have you been through?

And explained every reason for why that broken piece of him existed. Why those eyes sometimes seemed so vulnerable, and closed so quick.

Austin closed his eyes.

" It's Karma. It's my punishment."

Both of the brother's suffered. 

I decided for my entire life onwards that if I meet this girl now, I would kill her with my bare hands. 

How could someone do this to such a wonderful boy? 

I grabbed his arm. My voice was determined.

" No it isn't. You listen to me. This isn't your punishment. Nothing is. 

One day, you are going to find your own happiness and then realize that letting me go had been the best thing ever done."

" Until she was gone." he breathed and smiled. A speck of sparkle came into his eyes. " But you know, you're never going to get rid of me right? I'm still there to be the most annoying persona on this planet?"

The mood lightened right away.

I laughed.

" I would be honoured." I said,

He laughed. His laugh was bright enough to be the sun itself.

" Have you met Brady though-- he was dead worried. He might have screamed himself to death--"

" Wow."

" No, really."

" Whatever. Anyways, I have."

" Thank goodness."

I smiled.

" So we're good?"

" We were always good Lia."