Your Ivy Grows

Chapter 16

Two days, that's how long it takes to work up the courage to go see Barnes. Finding out his address wasn't hard; John had found out as much about him as he could. All I needed to do was hunt down that information among all the notes he had in his office. But standing outside of his door, I can't bring myself to raise my hand and knock. I'm not prepared to see him again, not so soon after what happened at the gallery. Can I trust myself to say what I need to say and then leave? Steeling myself for what I have to do, I take one deep breath in before finally knocking.

After waiting as long as I can stand, I decide he must not be in and I turn to walk away just as the door finally opens. I take a moment to collect myself before turning around to face him. Fuck, does he have to look so good right now? This would be so much easier if he looked like shit. It's strange to see him in such a relaxed setting, dressed in casual clothes and leaning in his doorway. He's staring at me, and I realise I'm just standing here looking at him.

"Can I talk to you?" I force the words out.

Rather than answering my question, he opens the door wider and gestures for me to come inside. Stepping through the doorway, I look around his apartment and notice how empty it is. It barely looks lived in at all, no personal touches to it. He has a couch, but I don't sit down. I stand in the middle of the room and turn to face him just as he closes the front door. In and out quickly, that's what I need to do. His eyes are on me, and he waits for me to speak. He won't make this easy for me, that much is clear.

I knew this was going to be awkward, but I've underestimated just how hard I would find this. My face is already reddening and I've not said anything yet. But it's not like I have any experience on how to converse with a man I let fuck me senseless on a table just a few nights ago, while my oblivious husband was a floor below us.

"You know, Princess, if you want to talk you need to open your mouth." That fucking smirk is back on his face as he watches me struggle to start the conversation we very much need to have.

"Thanks, Barnes, I wouldn't have figured that out on my own." I say, rolling my eyes. "Look, there's no point making small talk. I'll get to the point. I need to speak to you about the other night."

"What about it?" He's looking at me, eyes twinkling with amusement as he plays with me. God, I hate this man.

"About what happened between us." Why is my face betraying me so much right now? Why does it flush red whenever I'm embarrassed? He can see just how hard this is for me and he's loving it.

"What part exactly?" He's toying with me, and I hate him for it. "The wonderful tour you gave me?"

"No, not about the tour. You know what I mean. Stop being an ass."

"Oh, I see. You mean the part where you let me kiss you, let me touch you, let me fuck you. Is that the part you mean?"

"Yes." I choke out before clearing my throat and speaking more clearly. "Yes, Barnes, that part. Look, I think we both know that it was a mistake, and—"

"A mistake you seemed to enjoy if your moans in my ear and the scratches down my back are anything to go by." He looks at me as if he's daring me to argue with him. I won't, because he knows he's right. I enjoyed it. Enjoyed it too much, enjoyed it so much that it's all I've thought about since it happened.

"I'm not here to give you a performance review, Barnes." I joke to ease some of my discomfort. Not that it helps at all. I just need to get this out and leave.

"What exactly did you come here for then?" He asks me, looking me up and down as if he's thinking of all the things he could do to me.

"Not for that." I warn him. "I came to make sure this stays between us, okay? I'm not a fucking idiot, Barnes, even if you might think differently. You hate John, and I know how good it would make you feel to rub this in his face. But that wouldn't be good for either of us."