Your Ivy Grows

Chapter 25

I don't know how long we lie there together. I'm still a boneless puddle on the counter, with the comforting weight of his body pressing down on me. Lost in a satiated stupor, neither of us making any attempt to move. His cheek pressed against my lower back, but every so often he'll turn his head and I'll feel the warm press of his lips against my skin.

"You good, princess?" He mumbles. His breath tickles my back, sending a shiver through me. I realise I've yet to move or even make a sound since we finished. It's a little hard to do either when it feels like Barnes has essentially fucked me into a coma.

There's a question on the tip of my tongue that I have to hold back, too scared to ask. I'm in no mood to embarrass myself by vocalising it. But it doesn't stop me from wanting to know the answer. Is it always like this for him? Is this just what sex with Barnes is like? Does it feel like this to him with any other woman? Because I know it has never felt like this for me with John. Not even once. Not even back when my rose-tinted glasses were still firmly in place. How am I supposed to give him up and walk away when being with him feels better than anything I've ever experienced before?

A sudden incessant beeping breaks the silence in the kitchen. It snaps us out of our daze and gets us moving.

"What's that?" He murmurs before dropping one last kiss to my back and moving off me, allowing me to lower my leg down from where it rests on the counter. Turning to face him, watching as he fastens up his jeans, I realise how naked I am in comparison. But I think I'm well past the point of being shy about my body around him.

"The apple pie is ready." The mere mention of it drags my attention away from Barnes long enough to notice the delicious scent that has filled the kitchen. My mouth is watering at the thought of biting into a slice.

I quickly make my way to the oven, silencing the timer and switching it off before reaching for the oven-mitt hanging over the handle. Barnes beats me to it, gently guiding me out of the way so he can open the door and pull the pie out. No oven-mitt needed for him, he just grabs it with his metal hand as if it isn't burning hot.

Placing the pie on the counter and turning back to me, I notice a sudden change in his demeanor. Now he seems oddly nervous. There's a slightly guilty expression on his face that I'm trying to figure out.

"So, um, John might be home sooner than you think. You might want to get back in that dress." His gaze travels down my naked body, the appreciative glance showing just how little that idea actually appeals to him.

"What makes you say that?" John has barely been gone more than an hour. I'd assumed whatever they'd called him in for was probably going to keep him busy for the rest of the night. But then I once again notice the guilty look on Barnes' face and finally it clicks. "What did you do?"

"He might be driving to a location for a mission. But he won't find anyone there waiting for him. So it won't be too long before he heads back here."

"The call..." I trail off, looking over at him. "That was you?"

"Wilson did me a favour." He shrugs, as if it is no big deal. "I needed time alone with you."

"Why didn't you tell me?" I don't know exactly how long John has been gone, but I'm picturing him walking in to find me standing naked in the kitchen. That has me making a quick dash to my discarded clothes as I try to get them back on in record time.

"Because I knew you'd panic that he'd come back too soon. You'd have rushed me out of the door before I'd even get a chance to talk to you. Or touch you." He looks up at me then and he has all my attention. His eyes swirl with an emotion I can't decipher; he's back to being hard to read. "And I think I'd have lost my mind if I had to go one more day without touching you, Alexis."

I don't know what to say to that, so I say nothing. Instead, I'm struggling to tie the bow on my dress because my hands are shaking. Barnes makes his way over to me, gesturing in a twirling motion with his finger to get me to turn around so he can help me. He takes over, tying it for me while I hold my hair out of the way. I'm trying hard not to sigh with contentment every time his fingers brush over the nape of my neck.

"It's going to be fine. We have time." He kisses me on the back of my neck, just above where the bow rests. I drop my hair as he moves back and I turn to face him. "Quickly, go fix your hair and makeup and then we can talk. Plus, did I hear you mention pie?" His teasing question earns him the smallest of smiles from me. "If John comes home, we can just say I stayed for dessert."

His hand reaches towards me, bringing a finger up to my lower lip and freeing it from where I've been anxiously biting at it with my teeth.

"It's going to be fine, princess. Trust me."

The strange thing is that I do trust him. For the longest time, I'd believed he was waiting for any opportunity to rub what we've been doing in John's face. But it doesn't feel like that anymore. I'm no closer to figuring out what his intentions are, but I'm too wrapped up in this now to care. I'm about to walk out and head to the bathroom to fix myself up when he reaches out, stopping me.

"One more thing." He says before leaning forward to kiss me, bringing his hand up to caress my cheek. This kiss feels different; there's nothing hungry about it. It's a slow exploration that I never want to end.

But there seems to be no such thing as an innocent kiss between us. They build and grow into something more. That fire between us is so quick to consume me and I can already feel the want in me taking over. It's evident in the way I'm pressing my body against him. Sensing what he's doing to me, he pulls away and apologises against my mouth.

"Sorry, I couldn't help myself. But you should really go get ready, just in case." He pulls back, placing one last gentle kiss on my forehead before letting me go. I walk towards the doorway and am almost out of the kitchen before I remember his own dishevelled state.

"Hey, Barnes." I say, a playful tone in my voice. He looks up and I smile innocently at him. "You might want to go check your own reflection. You've got a little something on your face." I use my finger to point to the corner of my mouth before letting out a tiny laugh as I leave the room.

It's when I'm out of the room, no longer in his presence, that the weight of everything seems to hit me. What am I doing? I'm not even sure what this is anymore, to me or to Barnes. I'd planned to end it, to keep him at a distance and avoid him from now on. But I'm not sure I can do that, not after today.