Your Ivy Grows

Chapter 23

I'm sweating. I can feel it gathering on my forehead as I run around the kitchen. Hastily wiping at my brow, I make sure everything is cooking as it should be. When I'm satisfied that I've managed to not fuck anything up so far, I grab the open bottle of red wine on the counter, swallow a large mouthful, and then collapse back against the kitchen counter.

I'm in full panic mode. There's no stopping it. I'm pretty sure I've been in panic mode since John came home a few days ago and announced that Barnes had been in touch and John had invited him for dinner. A dinner that, of course, I'm expected to cook. That's how I've ended up here, a sweaty mess in the kitchen, trying to make sure everything goes smoothly while I fall apart on the inside.

If I've timed everything right, then I should now have enough time to go take a shower and get ready before Barnes gets here. Maybe the shower will help to calm me enough that I'll stop shaking. I doubt it, but it's worth a try. I've been on edge for days and nothing has worked to calm me down yet. It's the not knowing that is getting to me. I have no idea what game Barnes is playing and I'm terrified to find out. He terrifies me. The things he makes me feel terrify me.

When I'd handed over my number, I'd hoped he'd forget about it and I wouldn't hear from him. But three days later, his text came through.

B: When can I see you again?

Just those six words. Six little words that have been messing with my head every day since. Six words that I'd sat and stared at for hours. I knew the smart thing to do was not responding to him, especially after how he had acted back at the table in front of John. But I sat and stared at my phone, my fingers drumming on the table as I fought the urge to text back. It didn't matter how often I reminded myself why replying was a bad idea. I couldn't help the fact that I wanted to.

Common sense had won out when I'd heard John's car pulling into the driveway that night. What I wanted to do and what I needed to do were two separate things. I did the smart thing in the end. I blocked his number and deleted the message. And I've spent every single day since regretting it while also knowing it was what had to be done.

But Barnes clearly didn't like the silent treatment because now he's gone through John. What Barnes will I be getting tonight? The one who'll make suggestive comments in front of my husband and risk him finding out what I've done? Because if that's who shows up here tonight, I'm not sure how I'll deal with it.

After giving everything another once over to check it is cooking okay, I finally head upstairs to get ready. Whatever happens tonight, I'm at least going to make sure I look incredible while everything falls apart around me.

After getting ready, I'm back in the kitchen, adding the finishing touches to my apple pie. I'm taking my time making the leaves to decorate the top of it. Okay, maybe I should just call it what it is; I'm hiding.

"Alex, Bucky is going to be here any minute." John calls out to me as he walks into the kitchen. "Wow, you look beautiful."

I hold back my laugh because I just knew that even though this outfit is a little too on the nose, it would still go right over John's head. The look for the evening is a red and white polka dot vintage halter neck dress, paired with red heels and rouge lips to match. I've curled my hair and pinned up some sections for maximum effect. It's the look of a housewife plucked right out of a 50s movie. The perfect look to mock the role John is shoving me in for the evening. He's going to expect me to play happy families with him all night and the thought of it has me exhausted before the night has begun.

"I've got a few more things to do. Have a drink with him in the dining room and I'll bring the food in when it's done." I don't look up at him, determined to make myself look as busy as possible so he doesn't insist I come greet Barnes with him. I know I'm being a coward, but I haven't quite worked up the courage to face him yet. John doesn't argue, he just grabs a bottle of wine and heads back out of the kitchen.