"every h:pii fanfic ever"

white ball, because these characters could have learned something from "Frozen"

now it is time for a dance. this will be critical for the next chapter, so be sure you are taking notes.

this chapter is largely the same as the last one. it is slow, awkward, & boring. the only difference between now & before is that the simon & stella are at a dance now, or are currently dancing.

that's right. the two are dancing now. simon will say something flirtatious, but also painfully british in wording. something like "You look quite divine tonight." sound familiar? at this very moment, you (YOU, the reader) will be hit with the sudden realization that the next chapter is called or references the song "murders", & your entire outlook on this chapter will change.

"i love you or something," says the stella girl.

at this moment, i would like to describe the core of this chapter. this chapter, & story in general, falls into what i like to call "Frozen Syndrome", in which the characters in this story could have learned something from watching the movie Frozen, when Elsa says "you can't marry someone you just met". yes, think about that. it's great advice, really. suddenly you wish Frozen & other modern movies existed in this universe so that the characters could watch them, because the entire plot could have been prevented if they had!

all simons collectively kin Hans from Frozen. this is important for later, especially the next chapter. remember that now.

simon & stella are still at this fancy party, usually themed around chess or space, & are in love now. presumably, they are having a great time too.

although now, something either terrible happens, or the stella character betrays your expectations by suggesting her & simon leave the party.

"but they were just having a good time???", i hear you think. this does not matter. i am now going to establish the most important rule of all in these fanfictions:

"following the album is more important than developing a coherent plot."

this is it, folks! no excuses. no other characters or worldbuilding. just follow the script you're given. it doesn't help Hawaii: Part II isn't much to build with, but that's the only explanation. this is THE critical rule in writing a Hawaii: Part II fanfic. remember this; write it down if you have to, because you will see it everywhere.

this is the part simon & stella leave the party. no one notices this, for whatever reason. they are just allowed to leave despite it being such a fancy, high class party & despite, again, the fact they were having a great time just moments ago.

this is the part where the smutty fanfics get smutty. i will not go into detail.

"Hawaii: Part II smut fanfictions exist?", i hear you ask. yes. for whatever reason, yes. these exist/have existed before. somehow, people took the album with "The Mind Electric" on it & went "wow, what a great smut setup!", despite the fact it's heavily implied (in multiple songs) that simon, & by assumption his lady, are minors. now they spend their time writing porn of various characters from their Hawaii: Part II interpretation. weirdos...

anyway, simon & stella escape the party unnoticed, again despite being implied to be children. why they were even at the party in the first place is an irrelevant question that is easily answered with the number 1 rule. they are now out in the woods, or on the edge of the woods, & it is finally time for this show to get on the road.