"every h:pii fanfic ever"

murders, because SOMETHING has to happen in this story!

ahhh, the murders chapter. the moment everyone's been waiting for; the plot twist that everyone already expected!

simon & stella are in the woods now. they will be "having a picnic", despite the fact they just got out of this party.

nothing will be mentioned about the "looking to see the trees but none were there" part, because nobody seems to know what the fuck this actually means. this isn't a flaw on writers, this is a flaw on joe hawley. what the fuck does that even mean?? seriously.? so, for the greater good of the self, it is not mentioned.

simon & stella will start their "picnic". it will go well until either simon himself or stella starts being weird.

now this part is nitpicking, but i'm going to narrator-interrupt to rant because this is rediculous.

it would appear most Hawaii: Part II writers suffer from "i have no fucking idea what an Erlking is" disorder, or Ihnfiwaei disorder.

as a person with german heritage, who speaks german, i will explain to you what an erlking, Erlkönig, or "elf king" is. it is NOT a human. it is a being that only shows itself to people who are about to die. usually, such as the original folk tale, it is seen by children, even more evidence these protagonists are minors, if this girl did in fact see "the erlking". the expression on its face also can represent the death of the viewer. a pained expression might imply a painful death or such. it is ONLY visible to the person soon to die, & it is not human!

you can't even excuse it with a "oh, well, maybe they just didn't think of that" or "well that doesn't fit with the worldbuilding". it's the start of the song & it takes one google search! seriously.

anyways, nothing will happen with "the white wood" & "the black wood" either. it is a forest with normal trees.

in fact, a lot of elements of this song are ignored. the erlking is either cut or misrepresented, there is no lack of trees, there is no black or white wood, there are usually no "hate-me-not"s, there usually is no fountain of infinite mirror, despite it being in the chorus, there are NEVER bears, & rarely are there "darker terrors" other than the erlking, which again, is usually misrepresented.

just forget everything magical for this chapter.

it's time for the murder, also known as the Great Divide; did Simon really kill her, or was he framed? nobody seems to agree on this statement, but regardless, she is dead. simon either mourns or hides her body, usually by dumping it in a body of water. despicable bastard, he is.

i hear your thoughts. "oh no! the lifeless romantic interest for simon is dead! i bet simon mourns her throughout the entire book" or "gosh! i bet she's relevant again later for reasons other than simon's inevitable zapping" or "ahh! i bet she comes back later!"

if you think any of the following things, you're probably new around here. but we'll get to her legacy in later chapters. for now, stella is dead, & simon is left to clean up the mess. what will he do?