Rose Dursley: The Girl Who Lived

23. Going Home for Christmas

A week later, Rob was heading back to London on the Hogwarts Express. He was feeling a bit nervous about talking to his parents.

Rob had started coming out to a few of his closest friends while he was at Hogwarts. So far, they had all been supportive. Ron's little sister, Ginny, had been a little confused at first, but quickly accepted it. Luna Lovegood had just shrugged and said that she had already known that, but it was good that Rob now knew. The last person that he told was Neville. He didn't seem like he understood, but he said it was all fine.

Now the train was getting closer to London, Rob was starting to feel worried. His parents had always been very supportive, but Rob knew that they were also very traditional and close minded.

When the train arrived at platform 9 3/4, Rob could see his dad stood waiting. He climbed down and went over to greet him.

"Hello, sweetie," said Mr Dursley. "Mummy is just finishing off some Christmas shopping. She'll be home later."

Rob carried his bag through the station and followed his dad to the carpark. They drove home in silence. Rob was deep in his thoughts.

Later that evening, everyone came and sat down at the table for dinner. It was a lasagne and salad, which was Rob's favourite. But today, he did not feel so hungry. He drank his Coke and poked the food with his fork.

"Are you okay, Rose?" said Mrs Dursley.

Rob winced at the sound of his old name. "Mmmm," he said.

Rob put down his fork and stood up. His parents and brother paused and looked over at him.

"There's something I need to tell you all," said Rob. "I've come to realise something. I've been feeling uncomfortable about my body for a while. And, well... I've realised that I'm a trans male."

There was a silence around the table that was broken when Mr Dursley dropped his fork. The loud clattering as it hit his plate jolted Mrs Dursley into life.

"It's that school. I knew it was a mistake," she said.

Mrs Dursley buried her face in her hands and started to sob.

Mr Dursley's face went red, and his eyes went wide. "How could you say something like that?" he said angrily. "Look at what you've done to your mother. Go to your room, now!"

Rob felt a sharp pain strike him in his chest. He turned away from the table and ran up the stairs to his bedroom.

When Ron reached his room, he threw himself on his bed. Then he grabbed the pillow and covered his face with it.

Rob could hear the muffled shouts and crashes from his father downstairs. He had expected his parents to not accept him at first, but he had not expected the anger from his father. Rob kept the pillow over his head and tried to ignore the sounds coming from below.

A few hours later, everything had gone quiet. Rob heard a gentle knocking on his door. When he opened the door, he saw it was his older brother, Dudley.

"Hey. Mum and dad are really angry with you," said Dudley.

"Yeah, I noticed," said Rob.

"So are you like a boy now?" Dudley asked.

"Yes," said Rob.

"That's a bit weird," said Dudley.

Rob frowned at him.

"You don't look like a boy," said Dudley.

Rob turned and looked at himself in the mirror over his dresser. His face looked soft and feminine still, and his hair was long and went down past his shoulders. There wasn't much Rob could do about his face, but he could change his hair.

"Have you got any scissors?" asked Rob. "I want to cut my hair."

"You can't do that," said Dudley.

"No, I don't want to have it like this any longer," said Rob. "I want to cut it short."

"No, I meant you can't do it yourself. You'll make a mess," said Dudley. "The barber I go to on the high street is open till late. We can go there."

Rob followed Dudley down the stairs, and then they sneaked out the front door. It took about ten minutes to walk through the park to the high street from their house.

"So what else has changed now that you're a boy?" Dudley asked.

"My name, it's Rob now," he said. "And I use masculine pronouns."

"Huh. That's weird," said Dudley.

Eventually they reached the barbershop. When they entered the old guy who owned the shop nodded at them and pointed to the chair. Rob went and sat down.

"I don't do girl's haircuts."

"She's a boy," said Dudley.

"He." Rob corrected him.

"Oh yeah, sorry," said Dudley. "He's a boy."

"Bah, whatever," he said. "How do you want it cut?"

Rob wasn't sure. He looked at Dudley and shrugged.

"Same as mine?" Dudley asked. "Number 3 clippers on the back and sides, and scissor cut on the top."

The barber nodded and grabbed his clippers.

Rob felt a mix of emotion as his hair was cut off. He liked the feeling of running his fingers through his hair. But at the same time, he felt a relief at having it cut short.

Once his hair cut was finished, Rob and Dudley walked back home again.

"I guess you would need to change all your clothes too," said Dudley.

"Yeah, well some of them," said Rob.

"I've got a couple of bags of old clothes in my wardrobe," said Dudley. "Mum wanted me to take them to the charity shop, but I couldn't be bothered. You can have them if you want?"

"Yeah, thanks." Rob had often taken the occasional item of Dudley's old clothes over the years. So a whole bag of them sounded great.

When they got home, Dudley and Rob opened the front door carefully and sneaked inside. They could hear their father watching TV in the front room. As it was late, their mum had gone to bed already.

The two of them went up the stairs quietly and went to their rooms. Rob went into his room and sat on his bed. After a few minutes, there was a knock at his door. The door opened, and Dudley came in with two black bags full of clothes.

"Here, I don't know if any of it will fit you," said Dudley. "But it's all yours now."

Rob took the bags and tipped them out all over his bed. There were a few pairs of jeans and cargo trousers in one bag, along with some underwear and socks. The other bag was filled with tops and shirts.

First of all, Rob picked out the underwear and threw them straight in the bin. He did want to change from wearing knickers to shorts, but hand-me-down ones were a step too far.

Once Rob had finished sorting through the clothes, he checked the clock. He hadn't realised how late it was. So he quickly got undressed and jumped into bed.

It took Rob a while to get to sleep. He was kept awake with his anxiety about his parents. The way they had reacted to his news was upsetting, but kind of how he expected it to go. Eventually tiredness overtook him and he drifted off to sleep.