EXCHANGED

Chapter 12- Lou

(Chase's POV)
There was absolutely nothing I could put my mind to except Helen. She was the only woman who made me even more enlivened each day and the one who made me beam from ear to ear. Her laughter was as gracious as a butterfly fluttering around the plains. Her touch was as soft as a feather. And her eyes, that shimmered to the sunlight and was the very first thing I took a glimpse of every morning. The words that lastly escaped her soft, gentle lips echoed through the empty room of my head. 'It's not about me.' 'Thank you for everything.' 'Goodbye... forever.'
And at this very shattered moment, she left me. After all the tears we shed. After all the time we waited for each other. After all the holding back, this is what we receive. A broken heart. A befuddled mind. A weak body. I do not have the impression to put myself together again. I could barely open my eyes, not to see hers. I could barely breath, not to feel hers. I could barely move my lips, not to feel hers against mine. I could barely live, not to see how our love was real. I've never felt so broken, so abandoned. So dead.
"Chase, the pain will all come to an end. Nothing will bring you down anymore... I know that.", Lou says, trying to lift up my spirits.
"It's not working...", I whisper. "I- I'm sorry... maybe you would be fine if I- I leave you here...", she says, with a hushed voice as she looks straight at my eyes. And it made me wonder, that's the exact same thing Helen would do.
"I should just go...", Lou said, straightening up, walking her way to the door and taking her last look at me. "Bye-" "Stay... please, stay...", I suddenly say as she once again moves towards me. "I- I need someone t- to talk to...", I sigh as she plumped herself alongside of me.
"... so, what do you wanna say, Chase?", she softly asks. "I want to say... that there's nothing  that can make me move on except... her very tender touches...", I answered and let a tear escape the corner of my eye.
"Chase... why would you want that if she was the one who let go?", she asks again but I have to say she's got a point. I sniffed and exhaled deeply.
"It's because she was the one who let go...", I answered and it was basically... correct. "It's because I wasn't ready and because of school and because of me...", I say as I start to softly weep again.
"Chase don't cry, please...", she says, slowly patting my back. "It's not your fault."
"Try to find the truth about that.."
"The truth is that she let you go even you were holding on and so did she let herself go. It's not your fault. It's not."
"So you're saying it's Helen's?"
"Not entirely... It's the fault of how strong her grip was..."
I stayed silent and speculated about what Lou put simply into words. It was right. If Helen didn't hold on, why is it my fault? If I had a strong grip,why am I blaming myself?
"You know what, you're right...", I suggested as she smiled. "I knew you would get back up... so, I should probably get going.."
"No... the movie"
She giggled and it made me think of... Helen.
During the movie, the screen wasn't what I kept my stare on. It was Lou. She was simply gorgeous and she had a great spirit.
I couldn't get over Helen until I saw Lou.