The End's Destroyer

37: Exorcist on the job

* In which the gang finds out that Dream leads a double job.

* Have some crack

* Watch out, the Stressed Banana has a crucifix.

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"I'm bored." Dream spoke while Nightmare shrugged, currently stocking up the library with more books he got from the other AUs. "Why not hang out with your mates?" "They're busy with something-" "Hai Dream!" "Nevermind." Dream giggled as he turned and kissed Dust, who happily kissed back. Killer and Horror rushed in, panting a bit. "Y'all we just encountered a really weird AU!" Horror wheezed while Nightmare raised a brow. "Care to elaborate?" "Well-" "DREAM!" Blue screeched as he bursted in with Cross. "There's a possession!" Blue yelled and Dream dropped the books he was holding to help Nightmare. "What?!" "Me, Cross, Killer, Dust and Horror visited an AU and... They're back." Blue whispered in horror while Dream scowled. "That bitch!" Dream yelled before he then quickly rushed towards his room, confusing the rest. "What's happening...?" Killer raised a brow. "Dream's part time job. We're gonna get to see him in action again!" Blue squealed while Dream then rushed in, without his kitsune parts. Dressed in his old Dream outfit with the broken cape. His crown back on his skull and not floating, though the crosses was ones he couldn't get rid of, it added to his outfit instead. Dream had a black and gold crucifix attached by a black chord around his neck and another one that's attached to his belt, except the chord is white and the crucifix is black.

"I got the shit!" Dream yelled as he then rushed towards Blue. "Let's go then! Feel free to come by the way." Blue grinned. The gang looks at each other and then entered the portal Blue had made.

"It's actually over here." Blue pointed and Dream narrowed his eyes when they saw it was an Undyne, who was hissing and snarling at everyone else. Their Sans glancing and then suddenly, their eyelights brightening. "Dream!" "What happened?!" Blue quickly asked. "We- We don't know, one day we were just taking a stroll and suddenly, something attacked Undyne and now she's like this!" Papyrus panicked and Undyne screeched at the sight of Dream and moved to tackle him, Dream dodging and then holding out his necklace to Undyne. "Stay back and leave Undyne's body, Demon! I should've known you'd also come back with the AU!" Dream hissed and Undyne laughed, voice unnaturally deep for the fish lady while Killer meeped and hugged Nightmare from it. Nightmare was just watching in interest. "The hell..." Horror whispered, cowering behind Cross. He doesn't really like Undynes that much after all. But possessed Undyne is a whole new level of creepy.

"You will never make me leave completely Dream! Your attempts are futile! And not even Error is here to stop me either!" The demon in Undyne laughed and Dream growled. "Wait- Has Error and Dream worked before?" Dust whispered. "No, Error just knows of Dream's side job and helps him capture the possessed ones." Blue whispered as the Sans tried to hold Undyne down, but 'Undyne' quickly broke out of it and moved to tackle Sans before letting out a hiss when 'Undyne's' arm was held by a rope.

"You do not belong here demon!" Dream yelled as he then summoned a pair of hammer and a golden nail, tying the end of the rope to the nail and then hammering the nail on the ground with one swoop. Dream then switched his items to a crux and a book. "No, NO!" 'Undyne screeched as it tried to attack Dream, who simply just jumped back and then sets his book down, pulling out some salt and then trapping Undyne in it. Then setting the candles down with just one swoop and lighting it with his magic. Undyne was screeching now as Dream then picks the book up again.

"You go back to where you came from you demon! Leave this AU alone!" Dream yelled and held the crucifix out and began to chant the holy words.

"So... Dream's a part time exorcist?" Dust asked and Blue nods. "Yeah actually. Not only that but he's also a spirit medium, so not only can he see ghosts, but also demons." Blue whispered. "He's spiritual level is high honestly." Blue whispered.

"IN THE NAME THAT IS HOLY AND PURE OF POSITIVITY, I WILL NOW BANISH YOU FROM THIS WOMAN AND THIS AU, DEMON! BEGONE!" "SCREEEEEEEEE!!"

And just like that, a black blob-like smoke left Undyne's body. Dream quickly pulling out a wooden stake that's shimmering with gold magic and threw it at the smoke, killing the demon instantly. After that, Undyne passed out.

"Undyne!" Papyrus meeped and rushed towards Undyne, holding the unconscious fish close.

"That was scary..." Sans whispered before walking towards Dream who took a deep breath in, then out. "Thank you for this Dream." "No probs." "Is there any way I can you?" The Sans asked and Dream hummed. "What's your AU called?" "Precisiontale..." Sans spoke. "Our AU is made around precision and timing... Also long distance weapons so we have guns, bows, crossbows-" "I want two machine guns." Dream spoke and Sans blinked. "... Are you sure?" "Yes." Dream smiled and Sans nods. "Alright... Here." Sans snaps his fingers and two machine guns appears. "Thank you!" Dream then picks it up and walks towards Dust and Nightmare, Nightmare just... Shook. "Brother! Guns for you and Dust!" "... Dreaaammm..." nightmare sobbed as he took one of the guns and hugs it happily while Dust took it and grinned brightly. "Thank you love!" Dream then waved bye at Sans, who happily waved back. Then they left the AU. "I'm gonna go see if I need to exorcise more... The neighboring AUs should've been affected as well." "I'm coming with!" Blue cheered as they entered the tree castle living room.

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EXORCIST DREAM HELL YEAH XDD

I don't know how exorcism works so I mainly just did what I know, made my own version of it xD

Hope y'all enjoyed! <3

Also this is dedicated to one of my friends, you know who you are :3

Feel free to point out any grammatical errors or mistakes as I'd be too lazy to change it or leave it in cuz haha funny xD

Adios!

Total word count: 1053