DreamNap [platonic] Oneshots

☆ 𝗱𝗼 𝗶 𝗺𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿?

angst + fluff

tw/cw: selfharm, suicidal thoughts

george was streaming minecraft. he was just messing around in the dream smp. sapnap and dream were both on the call, although sapnap hardly spoke. all the 'dnf', him 'third wheeling' and dream team being 'the duo + sapnap' got him overwhelmed. obviously it didn't bother the other two. they didn't feel left out, even despite the fact that dream and sapnap lived in the same house.
he opened george's stream and the chat was filled with the 'dnf' comments again due to something one of the other two said. something that sapnap didn't really pay attention because he was deep in his thoughts.

did he really matter to someone

no one would even notice if something happened

nobody cares

they just kept you their friend for pity

what if they don't want to be friends

they don't like you

no one does

sapnap sat up from his setup, without saying anything to the two nor the stream. he went to the bathroom and looked his pale face and dark eye bags from the mirror. from the corner of his eye he saw a razor. he knew people would cut with it. he picked it up.

"if i just try once"

the blade hit the skin leaving a line filled with blood. he felt something. for the first time in a while, he felt something.

again

again

again

everytime the blade went trought his skin, he knew it was wrong, but it made him feel.

again

again

"what the fuck am i doing"

the blade dropped from his hand and he collapsed to the floor crying, curled up like a small child scared of the big world. and he cried. more than ever.

-▪︎-

"- do you remember that sapnap?"

silence

"sapnap. are you there?"

"he probably just went to the bathroom"

after a few minutes dream decided to go check on him, if he just fell asleep for example. he walked towards sapnap's room, but stopped on the bathroom door, hearing some quiet sniffles from inside. he lightly knocked on the door.

"sapnap are you okay?"

"yeah im fine" even after praying that dream wouldn't hear the crying, his voice cracked at the middle of saying 'fine'.

"hey i heard that, can i please come in?"

no answer. no motion.

"sapnap please, I'm worried"

dream heard some moving behind the door and soon it was open. dream's mouth opened from the shock. he had never seen sapnap so fragile and upset. he took sapnap to his warm embrace and held him in a hug while sitting on the floor and leaning on the wall. sapnap broke to tears.

"im so sorry. im so so sorry."

"hey its okay. everything's gonna be alright." dream did a circular motion with his hand on sapnap's back trying to calm him down. dream saw the fresh cuts which were still bleeding a little.

"im so sorry. im such a burden to everyone. to you. i can move out if you want"

"wait wait, you are not a burden. where did you get that idea from?"

"well it is usually only you and george everywhere and i understand. im not that relevant. plus I've known you for 10 years, i know what you think of me"

"sapnap there is a reason we have been friends for 10 years. i love you. really do. and i don't think you've ever been a burden to anyone. and im so so sorry if you ever feel left out. i don't mean it, george doesn't mean it. and i don't want you to ever leave. sapnap i need you."

"so you don't want me to go away?"

"no of course not. and i promise i won't leave you either"

"promise?"

"promise."

sapnap was gripping tight to dream's shirt, putting his head against the other's chest. dream reached to the bathroom cabinet and took the first-aid kit. he took carefully sapnap's left arm and put it on his lap. and so he started cleaning the wounds and whispering reassuring words to sapnaps ear. at one point dream stopped for a second, wiped a tear from sapnaps cheek and looked his sad and puffy eyes and gave a small smile. after cleaning and bandaging the wounds he hugged sapnap tightly and played a while with his hair.

"you need to message me or say to me if you ever feel left out, m'kay?"

"mhm"

"are you tired?"

sapnap nodded.

they slowly stood up, sapnap leaning to dream and they walked to dream's room. sapnap flopped on the bed pulling up the covers while dream walked to his computer seeing that george had ended the stream, which wasn't a surprise since he had left almost one and a half hour ago. he quickly wrote a message to george saying:

'sapnap isn't too well, sorry for ignoring and leaving, let's talk about more tomorrow, good night'

he also wrote a tweet, since his twitter was blowing up

'hi sorry for leaving, so sapnap wasn't feeling well, probably sick, we had to make sure everything is alright, thanks for understanding<3'

dream turned his computer off and laid down in bed next to sapnap. he went under the covers pulling half sleeping sapnap close.

"everything is going to be okay, I'll never leave you pandas"

-▪︎-

it is crazy that the people with the brightest smiles and the loudest laughs, with the braveness never seen before and the most caring personality, are always the ones with the darkest feelings and the saddest minds. you'd always think you are the one to be first at the bottom, but you're surprised to see the other person fighting in the dark.

so always remember to chek on your friends

and always remember to check on yourself

or ask help, you don't have to be alone
<3

NATIONAL SUICIDE PREVENTION WEEK 2021
5.-11. september