Trans Fundy Angst

•chapter 2•

TW: s3lf h@rm, bl00d,
eating disorder
bl@de,

•tubbo POV•

"Fundy?" I asked him, he had froze.
What has he done? His wrists?

Fundy didn't answer me, was he like Wilbur?

"I-its nothing T-tubbo, don't w-worry."
He was shaking and stuttering, he hasn't really touched the sandwich either. What was wrong?

The front door was unlocked and the sound of the door opening filled the quiet room.

"I'm home you guys. What have you two been doing?" Phil was home.

Fundy didn't say anything just ran upstairs to his room and slammed his door. What had just happened? Did he? Did he self-harm? He's just 14.

"Oh hello Phil, we only made some sandwiches and we watched some TV"
I said still trowed back from what just happened.

"Umm, what happened to Fundy? Has something happened today?" Phil asked me.

"I- umm" I didn't know what to say, was it good to tell Phil? I mean I don't even know if it was self-harm cuts or if it was something else.

"Speak. What happened Tubbo?" Phil asked sounding concerned.

"I think we should give him some time for himself," I said.

•Fundy POV•

He can't find out.
He can't.
He absolutely can't.
How am I gonna explain this later?
How?
It wasent with meaning.
Tubbo wasn't supposed to see the cuts.
It was a mistake.

I took the jacket off and tossed it across the room, it landed in front of the door.
Tears were running down my face, It was hard to breathe.

I fell to the floor digging my face into my knees as the tears made small wet circles on my jeans.

I couldn't hide it anymore, Tubbo had seen it. Would he tell Phil?
How would Phil react?
And dad?

I'm just such a disappointment.
I'm just so useless can't even find a better way of coping than sliting my wrists open.

Nobody at school had seen them at least I mean school wasn't a fun place either but rather school than home right now.

I stood up, looking at myself in the mirror. I lifted the white t-shirt and saw how bad it looked.
I know that they were bullying me but I didn't know they had made me bleed, how was I gonna explain this? I have been one week in that stupid school and everyone already hates me.
How was I gonna explain to Phil and dad that I'm black and blue on my whole stomach?

Time skip to dinner time

"KIDS DINNER IS READY" Phil yelled so everyone would hear. I was still in my room. Tubbo had been knocking on my door 2 times since he saw the cuts, he had also messaged me and tried to call me, but I didn't answer.

I heard dad opened his door, it sounded different than the other doors, probably cause he barely left his room.

Then I heard Tubbo open his door, I could hear his footsteps getting closer to my door.

"Fundy dinner is ready, wanna come out?" He sounded worried and his voice was so soft in some way.

I felt better now, I had calm down.

"I'm coming Tubs, I'll just fix something a bit fast," I answered him this time, I easily grabbed the orange hoodie and put it on.
In some seconds I was out of my room and in the hallway.
Then in the kitchen.

"So what's for dinner Phil?" Tubbo asked sounding a little happier than before.

"It's just mac n cheese, does anyone want like a sandwich to the food?" Phil said looking at the three of us who was standing in the kitchen.

"I could take a sandwich please," Tubbo said.

I saw the food, I felt like throwing up.
I didn't want to eat.

We all took food, I only took around 2 spoons of food, it would be enough for today, I didn't eat breakfast either.

We all sat down at the dinner table.

"So has something fun happened today?" Phil asked as he looked around the table.

He started at me, had Tubbo told him?
Did Phil know?

"Nothing special has happened today."
Wilbur said.

"Are you not gonna eat anything more Fundy? I thought you liked Mac n Cheese." Phil asked, I couldn't even look at the food on my plate.

"Oh well, I'm n-not that hungry."
I said, what was I supposed to say, I mean.
They don't know how bad I feel about my own body, they don't know.

"Well okay then. Do you guys have any homework?" Phil said

"Come on why are y'all so quiet has something happened?" Phil asked us all.

Everyone was quiet, Tubbo was the only one eating.

"Everything is fine dad, don't worry." My dad said to Phil.

I eat everything on the plate.
Then stood up from my chair.

"Where are you going Fundy?" Dad asked me.

"I'm just going to the toilet." I ran upstairs to the bathroom there, where nobody would be able to hear.

I walked into the bathroom, leaned down over the toilet and put two fingers down my throat.
I was throwing up the food I had just eaten.

I had hidden a little blade behind the bathroom counter, it was cold.

I sat there on the bathroom floor dragging the cold blade against my upper left arm.

I felt relieved as I stopped and grabbed my hoodie, it didn't hurt so much I guess it was normal for me now.

Before I left the bathroom I looked at myself in the mirror and checked so I looked normal, you couldn't even see that I had been crying or throwing up.

When I was back at the dinner table Wilbur had already made his way to his room.

"Is that blood Fundy? What happened?"
Phil said pointing at my left arm.

I couldn't look him in the eyes, I didn't know it would bleed thru my hoodie.
I just ran to my room, it was the only escape from this.

1039 words?! Hell yeah!
Anyway hope you enjoy it so far,
And again sorry if my grammar is a little wrong English is not my first language:))