Number 31 (Barney Stinson x Female Reader fan fiction)

Chapter Five - A Few Days In

"A couple days later, most of us met at the bar to check in on how Uncle Barney was doing with your cousin Ellie." Ted said.

***
Ted, Lily and Marshall were waiting for Barney to show up. He was half an hour late. Barney finally showed up and he looked a mess. He shuffled over to the booth to sit next to Ted. Once he sat down, he put his head on the table and closed his eyes. Ted, Lily and Marshall looked at him weirdly.
"Barney?" Ted poked him.
"Hi Lily!" Barney sat up and waved at Ted.
"I'm Ted. When was the last time you slept?" Ted asked.
"The day before Ellie was born. I'm so tired! She's awesome, don't get me wrong. But all I want to do is sleep! She's keeping me up at night!" Barney said.
"But don't you and Y/N switch everyday or something like that?" Lily asked.
"Every two days. Today is my last day. I convinced Y/N to take her early so I could-" Barney then crashed again.
"Barney!" Marshall shouted, quickly and high pitched.
"Robin!" Barney shouted and shot up awake. "Oh, sorry Marshall.
"Speaking of, where is Robin now?" Marshall asked.
"Ontario Canada." Lily answered. "Barney shouldn't Ellie be with Y/N first, since she's the mother?"
"Yeah, but I said I would do it first because she needs rest." Barney said, groggily.
"Okay, you know what. Were taking you home so you can get some rest!" Marshall said. He got out of his seat and carried Barney bridal style out of the bar as Ted and Lily followed.

Once they got in the cab, Lily's phone rang. She picked it up and started speaking,
"Hi Y/N." Lily said. Barney shot up from his lazy seating and started speaking clearly.
"Y/N! Lily give me your phone!" He shouted at her, yanking the phone out of her hand.
"Y/N! Everything okay?" He asked, sounding worried.
"Barney, I'm fine. Can I talk to Lily please?" You asked.
"Fine, goodnight Ellie! I love you!" Barney said, handing the phone back to Lily. He then went back to his lazy seating and groggy speech.
"Anyway," Lily said, chuckling.
"I was going to ask you if Barney wasn't doing anything stupid. This might sound weird, but I don't want him doing stupid stuff because it could have a bad effect on Ellie when she's not older." You said.
"Don't worry, it's not weird. He's jot being stupid. He's too tired to do that!" Lily chuckled.
"Ha! I feel bad for giving him the first time." You said.
"Don't. It's fine. I have to go now, see you!" Lily then hung up the phone.

When she hung up, the cab was at Barney's apartment. Marshall carried Barney bridal style again up the stairs and Ted and Lily followed. Ted reached in Barney's pocket for the keys and opened the door. Ted and Lily sat on the couch as Marshall put Barney in his bed.

His bed was full of toys and puke stained suits. Marshall lightly laid him on the floor because he was already asleep. He cleared Barney's bed by putting the toys on the ground beside his bed and the suits by the door. He went and picked Barney up again and tucked him into bed. Marshall turned off the light and left Barney's room with his stained suits.

Lily and Ted turned around at Marshall carrying the suits.
"Why do you have Barney's suits?" Lily asked.
"I'm going to clean them for him. They're all stained with vomit." Marshall said.
"That's so sweet of you!" Lily said.
"The laundry mat is downstairs next to apartment one." Ted said. Marshall then left the apartment.

Ted turned on the tv. Him and Lily decided to watch Avengers Endgame. Marshall came back later and joined you guys. Once they reached Tony Stark's funeral, Ted noticed something strange and paused the movie.
"You see Maria Hill?" He pointed at the Tv where she was standing.
"Yeah?" Marshall said.
"It's Robin's other doppelgänger! So there's Robin, Lesbian Robin and Maria Hill! Who plays her?" Ted asked.
"Oh my god!' It does look like her! I think her name is "Cobie Smulders"." Lily said.
"Okay." Ted said, unpausing the movie.

After, they all fell asleep on Barney's couch.

The next morning, Barney came out of his room to find his friends sleeping.
"What are you all doing here?" Barney shouted, waking them up.
"We were watching a movie..." Lily said, groggily. Barney looked confused as he got himself a cup of coffee.
"Where did my suits and Ellie's toys go?" Barney asked.
"I washed your suits and moved Ellie's toys somewhere else in your room." Marshall answered.
"Oh. Thanks man!" Barney said, cheerfully. "Do you guys want to see Ellie?" He asked.
"Is it your two days now for her?" Ted asked.
"No. But I can call Y/N." Just then, Barney's phone rang. You were calling. He answered it very quickly. "Call for Barney!" He answered.
"Hey, it's Y/N-" You started to say. Barney then inter you,
"Can I go first please? Okay, so can you drop Ellie off at my place? My friends want to see her."
"Um... Sure! I was going to ask you if you wanted to get a drink or something but maybe another time." You said, a little disappointed. Your plan was to give Barney a chance since he's the father of your kid, and you thought he was kind of cute.
"We can do that! My friends are responsible, they can take care of her." Barney said.
"What?" Ted asked, confused. Barney put his finger to his mouth, telling Ted to be quiet.
"Sounds great! Be there soon!" You said, hanging up.
"So Y/N wants to go on a date so I was thinking you guys could watch Ellie while we're out. That cool?" Barney explained.
"Yeah sure!" Marshall and Lily said.
"Yeah okay. I'm going to call Tracy to come over here with Penny and Luke." Ted said, stepping out on the balcony to make a call.

A few minutes later, you rang the doorbell with a bunch of baby supplies and of course, your baby.