N.R. One Shots

Stay

Tw: suicide
Skip if you are triggered by mentions of self harm and suicide

I'm honestly sorry in advance

“I think we’re going to leave now,” Nat said firmly, plucking the drink out of Y/N’s hands. She whined and tried to reach for it gain, but Nat held it out of her reach. 

“Fine,” she huffed. Nat helped her up and kept his hand around her, because she was still a little unsteady on her feet. She was mumbling something under her breath. 

“How will we get back? We only got one car..” Tony pointed out. 

“Urnn, we’ll walk back”, Nat offered while Y/N nodded. She needed some fresh air to clear her head.

Nat had never really seen Y/N this drunk. Sure, she drank at Stark’s parties, but she was always careful and always one of the precious few who escaped in the mornings without a hangover. As it turned out, drunk Y/N hated life. 

“I mean, what am I even doing Nat. Do I even deserve to live? Look at the people I’ve killed.” She turned to her. “I shot them Nat! I just…shot them….” Nat took her hand and pulled her to her. 

“I’m a monster Nat..” 

Nat wrapped her arms around her. “You’re not a monster Y/N. You’re not who you used to be.” Y/N pulled out of her arms and started running, unsteadily, towards the ledge. 

Nat could see the house just a few paces ahead. She wanted to get Y/N home and put her to bed, but she seemed to have other plans. Even drunk, Y/N was faster than Nat and she had to jog to keep up. When she finally stopped, she saw Y/N standing on the ledge, looking down at the valley beneath her.

“Y/N….?” Nat said, for the first time, her worry melting into panic. She had a determined look on her face. 

“Y/N.” she didn’t turn around to look at her. 

“Nat..i…I don’t deserve this. I don’t deserve…you.”

“Y/Nasha get down from there.”

“Don’t miss me too much, okay?”

“Y/N please.”

"Take care of yourself. Don't spend too much time in training.."

"Y/N, honey, stop."

Y/Nasha shook her shead. “I want this. They're waiting for me, you know.”

Nat started edging towards the concrete ledge, careful not to startle her. “Y/N you’re drunk. Stop.”

“I’m not drunk Nat.” And she took the step off the ledge.

Y/N’s POV

I know I've done the right thing. This is exactly what I deserve. I don't deserve her. Her love. Her embrace.

I feel the wind close around me as I tilt into it, feeling the nothingness under my foot. My other foot leaves the ledge and I'm carried into the wind. Its okay, I tell myself. Its okay.

Suddenly, when I least expect it, I feel a pair of arms around me. They close over my stomach, knocking the breath out of me, caging me from death. I'm jerked back towards solid ground and I slam into Nat. She tightens her hold around me, turning me around so I'm facing her.

I can see her lips moving, and I try to place the words, but I can't share her over the wind and the blood pounding in my ears. Nat tries to restrain me as I realise I'm fighting to get back over the ledge. I fall limp and she drags me back towards safety. She never lets go of me.