Dreams And Affections

Chapter 6: New Plans

[TW: ABUSE]

Valerian Blanche's POV

I'm in my room sitting on my desk where it's placed in front of my window, I can see the stars and the calming moon.

I was actually doing my homework but I honestly can't focus on it, I'm thinking of something else, and that is the man from the phone call earlier. Well, I hope he is doing alright in his country..

After a few minutes of running questions and theories in my head, I heard our front door closed, What? my Father is home?

I sat up on my chair and left my room and went downstairs, While I was going downstairs I can already smell the powerful scent of liquor, now I really know that it is my dad.

"Val.." My Father said in a drunk tone.

"..Yes Father?" I asked and I can feel that something is up.

"You better start packing your stuff this month." He added in a cold tone.

What? what does he mean pack my stuff? where are we going?

"What? Why?" I asked him.

"We are going to Russia." He answered.

My eyes were widened after hearing his response. Russia?! The hell? Why? We just got here and we are moving again, I'm so tired from all of this.

"What do you mean we are going to Russia? We just got here and what about school?" I asked in a frustrating way, he never even ask me about this, he just always surprises me but not the good kind.

"Enough with the questions and just listen to me, Val." He said trying to end or conversation.

"No! You are always like this and just left me with unanswered questions! You never even bother to ask me if this is okay or if that is okay! I'm so confu-" I haven't completed my response because he cut me with his yell.

"IT'S FOR BUSINESS VAL!! NOW ENOUGH WITH THE QUESTIONS AND GO TO YOUR ROOM!" He shouted and it made my body shaken by surprise.

"You are no better than my Mother." I mumbled, And I was about to make my way upstairs but..

"What the hell did you just say to me?" My Father asked in a furious tone.

Fear, My whole body started to feel fear, and I couldn't turn around to face him anymore, Crap I should've just kept that to myself.

"It's nothing.." I said under my breathe.

I can feel his footsteps getting closer to me, and that made me look at him. At the point when I faced him, he immediately grabs my wrists and his grip was so hard. I tried to get off his grip but it was difficult for me to do it because his grip is too strong.

[NOW PLAYING: I Love You - Billie Eilish]

"Dad! Stop it hurts-" I begged but he cut my sentence again.

"Say that again and I'm locking you in the basement." He threatened me and tears started to form in my eyes.

When he saw the tears in my eyes his expressions change and he slowly let me go.

"Val-.. I.. I'm sorry, It's a.." He tried to explain but I didn't want to hear it and I ran immediately upstairs going into my room.

When I entered my room I quickly closed my door and locked it, I let myself fall on the ground and I covered my ears and let myself cry..

I heard my Father yelling to himself and it made me break down more, I don't care if I'm here on my cold floor, I can't think straight everything is a mess everything is shattered like a broken glass. Why is this happening to me?!

My mom said when I was 10 she is just going to be away for a few days but she never come back anymore, Where is she? I'm so afraid.

Tears just kept on running on my face going to the floor. What happened to my Family? It used to be so happy and less problematic.

I can't feel myself being so alive, I always have a lack of communication, I don't know who is the right person for me to vent to and let all this pain I'm feeling go away, I feel like I'm suffocating, I can't feel the feeling of freedom.

I'm so tired of my life, I want a fresh start, but there is always this huge wall blocking my path and all I can do is turn away from it and give up, I'm hopeless.

Why is my Father confusing, He said that I'm important to him and that he cares about me, and that he loves me.. But why is he hurting me? Why is he yelling at me? Where did I go wrong? I've been always a good kid and now everything is just frustrating.

What is the feeling of having a real Home?

I need help..

I want to feel the real feeling of being safe and sound..

Why is everything so twisted?

I'm just a teen who wants to be Happy, Is that too much to ask?

Mom, please come Home.. Your daughter needs you. My Father won't even tell me the truth about where have you been, He always says that you have important businesses that needs to be done.

Business, It's always the damn Business.

You left your daughter since she was 10 with a monster living on the same roof as her.

Please come Home.. I miss you Mom.

I need someone out there, Someone whom I can sleep thru their arms..

Burton..

I may not know if you are real, But you somehow keep me safe.

Even tho I can't feel your touch, or even tho I can only see you in my dreams.

I hope you are really out there, hoping that you are waiting for me.

My eyes felt so heavy and my whole body felt so tired and weak, I closed my eyes and now it went all black.

Where are you, Burton?