It's been two days since Barbossa's visit, that night my fathers ship came into view, and since then we've been out running them. Since I told Silas that I'm possibly with child, things have changed for the worse, Silas and I sleep separately. We're so distant and it's breaking my heart, I love him, I just wish that he would change his mind about all of this. Since then though I'm still late, and I know that I'm with child, there's no way I'm not, and that scares me more than anything. I sighed getting off my cot and getting ready for the day knowing that life must go on, I quickly got dressed. I pulled on my black pants, before my long sleeve puffy white shirt, I strapped my corset leaving it a little loose, before pulling on my high heeled boot. I strapped my sheath to my waist, putting my daggers in place. I put my hair up in a messy bun before pulling on my red jacket and putting my hat in place.
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I sighed seeing Silas getting up, I looked away before walking out on deck. I went up to the helm before looking behind me seeing the ship getting closer, almost to close for comfort. I started shouting orders hoping to hold them off a little longer at least until Silas and I get everything figured out. Silas soon came on deck rushing to me pushing me out of the way and I felt nothing but chills roll up my spine. I moved out of his way going to work, I continued with the orders before seeing us pull way ahead of my fathers ship knowing we wouldn't be able to do this forever. I sighed as we pulled ahead and I looked up at Silas who shook his head at me, I know he's worried but pushing me away is only going to make us weak. I walked up to the helm standing next to him hoping he'll show me that he still cares and wants us to work. However he didn't he just kept his eyes straight on the seas ahead and I knew that if I died, he'll more than likely think nothing of it.
"Silas please look at me, talk to me."
"Why?"
"Because if I die..."
"Then what? If you die, nothing will change."
I felt my heartbreak as tears came to my eyes, I looked away from him before walking to the stairs. I then turned back looking at him knowing that nothing I say will change a thing, but I had to say something.
"I'm sorry you feel that way, because I don't know what I'd do if I lost you forever."
With that I walked away going back to giving orders, and at the end of the night I went to the cabin packing my things. I then went below deck to the small room I once hid in when Silas loved me enough to protect me. Soon our almost run in with my father will become a reality, and I know that when that happens I'll lose everything I love. There is no almost in that, the only thing there is, is a definite, and I don't know if I can handle that.
