traitor reader x reiner

hesitation

You used all the strength you had to push yourself up to a sitting position; you grunted through gritted teeth as pain ran from your side through your body. "Ah, y/n. Lay down please." Marco said, gently holding you by the shoulders to steady you. Though you never took the time to know him well, Marco had always been nice. A face that always had a smile. *flashback*

You flew with ease normally, but the cold made your fingers numb. Fumbling at the trigger, you lost your grip. "Shit, shit, shit" The cold air surrounded you as you fell. Fruitlessly, you continued to grasp at the handle. Your body hit the arms of someone and they continued to fly. Your hair flew into your eyes, impairing your vision. "Jeez, y/n. Aren't you like, great at odm gears, I didn't think I'd be the one catching you?" Marco light heartedly laughed, slowing down and eventually landing. "Let's get you warmed up a bit before continuing training." He said, taking off his coat and extending it to you, "Wait, no. You'll get cold." you say, pushing his jacket back to him. "Nah, it's fine, I'll just go grab a new one from the dorms." He said with a smile. "And I'll bring you back some warm tea, you wait here ok?" "Alright." You say, wrapping the jacket around yourself, relishing in the warmth.

*Present*

"I'm ok Marco." You brush his hand off you, giving him a slight smile.

"What even happened?" Reiner said, extending his hand to graze the wound, eyes focused on the blood. You wince slightly and he pulls his hand back, looking up at you "sorry." You thought back to what happened. Your memory was fuzzy, but you could make out bits. Your eyes widened as the memories came flooding back, "..oh god." You say covering your mouth with your hand in an attempt to not cry, but it didn't work. Tears rushed down your face. You tried to get words out, but you could only choke and gurgle.

"Come on guys, let's give them some room. We need to figure out what to do, anyway." Jean said. They all voiced a mutual agreement and stood up to leave, except Reiner. He lingered just a bit longer than the others, simply looking at you, his eyes tinged with guilt. He grazed your hand for a second before getting up to join the others.

Coward, coward, coward, coward, repeated in your head. Useless coward, you let them die and all you can do is sit here and pity yourself, drowning in your own tears like a blubbering baby, selfish coward. You deserved to die in their place. Better yet, you should have died instead of your father. He died for you, and what have you accomplished because of it? Jack shit. Now you get to carry the weight of all their deaths, your mother, your father, and... what were their names? You let them die in your place and you don't even know their names, pathetic. Your inner voice taunted you, the world around you blurring with the thoughts.

"Fuck," you muttered as you stood up, wavering a bit and clutching your side. You teetered your way to the crowd that stood on the edge of the building, while Mikasa gave a speech. When did she get here?. "What are we doing?" You say to Reiner, resting yourself on the male's sturdy side. "Woah, y/n. What are you doing? You should go lay down." He says, using his arm to keep you from falling. "Shut up, just tell me the plan." You say through gritted teeth. "Uh ok? See that building over there?" He said pointing, your eyes followed his hand and met the capital building, which was practically teeming with titans. "We are going to get in." "Are they fucking crazy?!" "Probably" "Well, I'm in I guess" "What, no. You're in no state to fight." "So you want me to sit here and get eaten waiting for you all to either die there, or bring back supplies? No thanks, if I'm going to die, it will not be sitting around waiting." "Y/n-" Reiner tried to reason with you, but you cut him off. "I'm going to Reiner." you say, you refuse to be a coward ever again. You either fight or die trying. Reiner fell silent.

After a few minutes of explaining, Mikasa zipped off on her odm gear towards the capital. Only a few followed at first, but slowly everyone was taking a running start off the roof. You took a step, pain burned through you. Another step. Feeling dizzy, you forced yourself to run and deploy your odm gear. Your flying was clumsy, but you could manage. Slightly behind the group, Reiner stayed a few paces ahead of you, obviously monitoring you. "I'm fine, Reiner, really." You say speeding up to keep pace with him. The group pushed a head, getting picked off by titans one by one. You, Reiner, and Bertolt split off into a group, taking the west side of the capital. The force of the odm gear was making you feel sick. You stop for a second on a roof. The world was spinning. You stumbled a bit before collapsing. You placed your hand to your side, fuck I'm bleeding again. The white gauze was slowly turning red.

Your vision went black and when you came to you were no longer on the roof, and there was something squeezing you. "W-what" you looked around and met the eyes of a titan. You let out a scream. Looking around frantically, you spotted Reiner and Bertolt, who were just watching? "GUYS, HELP ME PLEASE." You called out to them. Your friends, no family, were just watching you die. "REINER, PLEASE." You cried to the man whom had been your best friend for 2 years. He seemed to start towards you, but Bertolt held him back, softly placing a hand on his shoulder and saying something you couldn't make out. Reiner turned away from you, refusing to even look. "GUYS PLEASE, WHY, WHY WON'T YOU HELP ME" You pleaded with them. They stared as the titan raised you to its mouth."REINER BERTOLT WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING" You heard a voice ring through the air, followed by hands around your waist. Marco pulled you from the titan's grasp. "Are you ok y/n?" Marco asked as you flew through the air. You couldn't even form a response before blacking out again.