Vigilante | H.S.

39 | Clean

April 17

"You don't need to be nervous, love. Its only me" his deep raspy voice murmured against my skin, peppering kisses on every inch of me that he could.

Harry was standing behind me, his chest pressed flat against my back and his chin was on my shoulder, his arms around on either side of my hips.

I was still completely naked, while Harry had put his sweatpants back on earlier. We were standing outside my shower; the water was already on, and the room had steamed up.

After lying in bed with him for another ten minutes or so, he had gotten up and cleaned up the mess he had left on my stomach and turned on the shower, waiting patiently for me to come and join him when I was ready

He nuzzled his face into the side of my neck, pressing kisses up my shoulder to just beneath my ear.

We still hadn't had sex. He told me once that he wanted me to be the one to initiate it, and I wanted to, so many times, but I was never confident enough to do it.

I think it just took a lot for me to trust someone like that again. James took so much from me, first when I was only fourteen and then constantly for the four years we were together.

I knew Harry was nothing like him and he would never do the things that James did to me, but my body's initial reaction was still fear.

Now my body was craving him though, I knew I needed his touch and I was getting tired of waiting, I could be confident.

"I'm not nervous" I leaned into him, breathing out and let myself enjoy the feeling of his lips on my skin.

He hummed against my neck and moved one of his hands from my hip and placed it flat on my chest, and there was no denying the fact he would be able to feel the way my heart was pounding in my chest.

"Let me feel your pulse slow" His lips were just below my ear so he could feel my pulse point, "There's nothing to be nervous about"

"Sorry" I apologised, taking a deep breath. I was nervous, he was right, but I just didnt know why. It was like he hadn't seen me naked before, but it was always in the moment, this was just so much more intimate, he was going to see my whole body and I had never felt more naked, "I'm just- I don't know"

"You don't have to shower with me if you don't want to" He reassured me, slipping his arms around my waist, he squeezed once, "Don't feel like you can't back out because you already said yes"

"I do want to shower with you" I responded quickly, maybe too quickly. I did want to shower with him, I just had to get past my own insecurity, and the fact that he was going to be naked in front of me, 'I just don't know if I'm going to be able to focus on actually getting clean when you're in front of me"

There was a possibility of me just passing out and my knees giving out when I saw him naked under the water. The image I pictured in my head made my stomach jump.

Harry hummed deeply against my neck, "I'm not going to try anything with you, I just want to be close to you" He reassured me again, he wasn't going to try and touch me if I didn't want him to, "I want to clean you up, it was me that made the mess after all"

"I know" I breathed out, smiling slightly to myself when I felt his hands soothing up and down my sides, "But if you catch me staring, just pretend you didn't notice"

Harry breathed out a laugh through his nose and squeezed my waist again, before letting me go and encouraging me to get into the shower and under the water. He held my hand as I stepped in, but did not follow behind me yet.