A Shattered Glass, My Life Without Her

Tufts Of Love

The air in the room is dry. I could tell as I awoke, my nose and mouth were stuck in place. It was pretty cold last night so Kat must have turned the heat up before going to bed. Peeking my eyes open, they adjust slowly until I realize, the only thing I see is darkness with a small hint of the streetlamp's glow coming through the porous drapes. The scent of this room with new furnishings is a bit stale and plasticky, and also somewhat anonymous. I lay beneath the soft covers feeling the stiff mattress below me, my head embedded in the new fluffy down pillow, I stare up at the dark grey ceiling, recalling how I managed to find myself here, in Kat's apartment, in Calgary.

'It was so great to see everyone again. Our fans, there's not enough I can say about them, they just never let us down and we truly don't know how to be more grateful for them.' Kat was expounding on how exhilarating it was to be surrounded by the thousands of fans, the Earpers, as they are known, while we made sandwiches with Mom in her kitchen. 'Tim and Dom couldn't make it, but they made the cutest video. I'll have to find it and show you.'

'That sounds like the typical Wynonna Earp convention.' Mom said expecting the same celebratory results as all the conventions she had previously heard about. 'Iev, what did you think about it.....your first Wynonna Earp convention?' she added.

'Umm, as much as I love Kat, I could nevuh be her biggest fan.....because I couldn't compete with the herds of them, there are so many ...and Ray said he thought the same.' I realized this after the first day of the convention. As much as Kat is my hero, her role as Officer Haught also makes her the heroine to so many people out there, especially those in the LGBTQ community.

'Aww, but you both get to come home with me.' Kat reminded me, leaning her shoulder into mine.

I turn to Kat wrapping my arms around her waist as I look up at her. 'And then I thought, you're probably going to have some insane arthritis when you're forty, just from signing all those autographs. I think we sat there for three hours watching Kat sign all sorts of stuff. How many Sharpies did you go through again?'

Mom smiled at us both, 'Was that your favorite part of the trip? Seeing the celebrity of your sister and her costars?' She knew too well I likely didn't enjoy the crowds.

'No,' I said truthfully but hesitantly, not wanting to disappoint Kat. 'Uh.....I liked...watching the kite surfers on the beach with Carson.' I admitted giving Kat a smirk.

'So Carson was able to make it then?' Mom realized. Was I the only one that didn't know he was going?

'Yeah, someone managed to sneak away after the first day to hang out with her best friend.' Kat taunted with a nudge to my elbow.

'Officer Haught would have done the same.' I parried the jibe with a smile. 'But...it was nice to finally meet Kat's costars in person. They are all super nice.'

Kat laughed at my smart response. 'Well, you actually didn't get to meet Dom or Tim yet.' Kat reminded. 'So...' She looked over at our mom. 'Mom and I... were thinking...' she dragged out the last word.

'Uh, oh... heah it comes. The Barrell ladies have been scheming something again.' I warned myself out loud.

Kat scoffed, 'The last time we schemed up something Ievs, you came home with two Masters degrees.' she reminds me. She wasn't wrong. It was Kat's idea that I get a degree in writing. And I had agreed with our parents to try going to college even though I preferred to get a degree in reading which I still find odd such a degree doesn't actually exist.

'Iev honey,' Mom dried her hands on her dishcloth and smoothed her fingers on my upper back. 'We were only thinking about what you might be doing after the Fall now that you've finished with school.' She paused. 'What do you think you'll want to do come the end of the year?'