A Shattered Glass, My Life Without Her

Best Birthday Ever!

This was a conscious decision...choosing Kat over Dom even in the middle of Dom's angst. Kat's birthday happened a couple days after the Oscars, so it felt more appropriate to publish this chapter now. Maybe it helps build the drama of Dom and Iev's falling out. Let me know if you think otherwise.

'Mom, it's been two months since the first time this happened. And now it's happening almost every other day!' I overhear my sister's phone conversation with our mom. I'm sure Mom called to wish Kat a happy birthday, but instead they've now taken to discussing my problems. It's my fault for having worried her and Ray that she's now insisting I see my doctor. 'Okay, but at soon as possible please.' She begs. 'Thank you Mom...I will...love you too. Okay. Bye.'

Kat is sitting in my bed, a script open on her lap and I am leaning against her side. She strokes my head slowly as I whimper and cling to her elbow. Most days my ulcers are dormant, but tonight it seems all they want to do is scream. My gut is again battling itself as I groan lowly with each breath. I try desperately to stifle myself so Kat can concentrate on her work, both of us wishing for me to just fall asleep already, so I don't have to feel my stomach eating at itself any longer.

Kat takes the little book from my hand, closing it and placing it on the nightstand. 'Breathe babygirl...it'll kick in soon.' She looks over at the half glass of water and a pill bottle set adjacent, reminding her of the side effects I constantly endure. I know she wishes she could take away the pain, but all she can do is be here next to me, a comfortable sister-pillow, as the medicine slowly takes hold. The patience required being all too familiar to us both, she continues to pet me as my eyelids begin to fall heavy.

***

'Knock, knock.' I call out from Kat's bedroom door. 'Can I come in?'

Kat replies pulling her eyes from her phone, 'Good morning Iev. Since when did you need permission to come into my room?'

'Umm, since you got married maybe?'

'Ha! Yeah, I guess you're right. Though, you really only need Ray's permission to enter his bedroom.' We laugh at her realization. She isn't wrong, even after she got married and got pretty busy with her career, she's always done her best to find time for us.

'You've got this Ievs. Slow and steady.' Kat encouraged. She had started attending my PT sessions with me on Sol's suggestion. Kat had wanted to be there for me even though she has been pretty busy with work and spending time with Ray.

It had been more than a month and a half of medical procedures and treatments. And although my body was improving steadily, my mind was still in a haze. Actually I was in complete disbelief of what had happened at all. And in denial or acceptance, everyone knew my heart would never really heal.

My sister of course, knew this from the day our parents broke the news to me. Kat couldn't be here for nearly three weeks because she was away shooting Wynonna Earp. She had so much guilt for not being there sooner, even though it was totally out of her control, Ray had to ask Carson to intervene. 'Is she trying to win a #1 supportive sister award?' He once asked, 'Because no one else is coming close.'

Once Kat was on hiatus and had come home she put herself to task helping my parents manage my recovery. The medical team and the department nurses could not be more grateful Kat was by my side every day, helping to translate my needs when I just couldn't speak or function at all. And now she was making every second count, attending my PT sessions with me, helping me keep count, logging my progress and encouraging me when I tired. 'Just a few more Ievs, one minute left.'

I know she has to keep working so I didn't mind if she had to take calls, but she disliked being bothered when she was with me. It was visibly obvious by her pacing about and her curt remarks. Kat was shaking her head, annoyed by what she was hearing from the other side of the line. 'I know what they want...but Iev's getting discharged on the 16th so I won't be available until after...I know...no...that's the soonest...then tell them I need to be here for my sister...well she is.' She always dramatically rolled her eyes at her phone when she hung up and continued shaking her head as she walked back to where I sat doing my exercises.