I will love you with my Heart and Seoul

Chapter Eight

       September is the saddest month for me although Love Yourself: Answer debuts at No. 1 on the Billboard 200, the group's second No. 1 album of the year.
        I return home to the U.K, knowing that we will be apart for both of our birthdays.
       Taking some contract work to tide me over and crashing at my friend's place.
        She is beyond excited when I tell her we have front row seats and backstage passes for the first show at the O2. I still haven't told her about me and Joonie.
       She will FREAK!

       I am in contact with PD Nim. We are talking about a possible return for me to take a permanent position on the staff.
       It's early days and I need to discuss it with Namjoon, it will mean big changes for both of us.

       She notices my sadness one night and asks me what's up. I end up telling her everything about my Joonie. She sits there speechless with her jaw on the floor.
       This is not the reaction I expected from her. Have I shocked her that much?

       Then finally she speaks,  "You are Kim Namjoon's girlfriend?" I nod slowly trying to gauge what level her reaction will reach.
      "I am in shock girl, why have you been keeping this massive news from me, plus, I thought you were sworn off men."
      "Me too...but this feels different" I reply.

       For the first time I open up about my time with them and confirm confidentially, swearing her to secrecy (or she won't be coming to the gig with me) that both Jin and Hoseok are also in relationships.
       She quickly asks me worriedly, "What about Yoongi?"
       I comfort her with confirmation that I have never seen him with anyone and as far as I know he is 100% single.
      "Yesssss" is her only response whilst punching the air.

       For me the next few weeks drag on slowly. Joonie calls me as often as he can, but I appreciate that it is difficult. Idol, featuring Nicki Minaj, debuts at No. 11 on the Hot 100.

       BTS will perform on the America's Got Talent semi-final on his birthday.           
       Beforehand I wake up super early waiting to hear from him so I can wish him a happy birthday.
       I was prepared, I had the boys stow my present away for me and take it to the states with them.
       They all join him on the call just after midnight LA time so I can share in his celebration and they give him my present so I can see his reaction.
       Once they have all left and it's just us he says, "Thank you for my present Jagiyaa (Korean term of endearment – the first time he has used this) I love it and I love you and miss you, I can't wait to see you in London".
      "Love you too Joonie, stay safe" I have a smile on my face all day for the first time since we have been apart; knowing he is safe and my present was a good choice.

       Two days before my birthday Suga shared a remix of "Seesaw" and "I Need U." Although I love both songs, hearing them at this time it breaks my heart, because that's how I feel about him.
       I need him. I miss him so much.

       On my birthday they are in Hamilton, Canada for a concert.
       As the clock strikes midnight in the UK, he facetimes me. Unfortunately, it was not the longest call as they are in rehearsals for the concert, so it ends all too quickly.
       He wishes me Happy Birthday with a beautiful smile on his face, dimples showing (will I ever get bored of seeing them).
       Later, I received the biggest delivery of flowers that I have ever seen in my entire life!
       I sent him a message, "Thank you for the flowers, they are absolutely beautiful. I had to buy two new vases to display them all".
       His reply, "I am glad you liked them baby, just to keep you going until I can give you your main present".
       "There's more?" I ask.
       "Oh yes baby girl I wouldn't be much of a boyfriend just giving you flowers; so obvious."