I will love you with my Heart and Seoul

Chapter Seven

BTS are appearing on The Late Late Show with James Corden.
       I got to meet Smithy from Gavin and Stacey!! He is super friendly, an all-round nice guy.
       Very easy to work with too. Some of his production team maybe not so much, but that is why I am here.
       He is fascinated about my speaking Korean asking me how and why I chose it, to which I answer honestly that it had not been my original intention, but the opportunity presented itself and I changed my degree course.

       In June BTS and ARMY (I am ARMY! I feel like I have contributed) win four awards at the 2018 Radio Disney Music Awards. And BTS donates to the ALS hospital building fund as the Ice Bucket Challenge reappears in South Korea.
       I didn't do it, I am a chicken; I ran away and hid whilst they were filming! But some of the staff did.

       I am rarely not with them as the year goes on and I am beginning to wonder if I will be able to cope without them in my life.
       This isn't a job, it's a lifestyle and one that I want to continue.

       My 'relationship' with Namjoon is as good as ever! But we still have not made any progress past friends.
       I am now resigned to the fact that this is all it will ever be. He is 100% committed to his career and I accept that.
       It hurts of course! But I remind myself why I came to Korea and realise that I was just lucky to have landed the job and been part of this journey.
      
       Whilst they are at home in Korea I practically move in with Namjoon, except for the romantic part.

       The only person who knows is Soo Min and I have sworn her to secrecy – even from Hobi!
       My nights spent in his arms are my dreamworld. I have had several quite vivid dreams.
       I woke up all messed up one morning. I could have sworn Namjoon's hand had travelled up his t-shirt onto my bare stomach last night, grazing my breast.
       It was hazy, but felt so real.

       He has 'spooned' with me on many occasions and I was convinced that I felt his arousal behind me, but he has never made any romantic advances.
       I did contemplate once about confessing my feelings; but shot that down very quickly.
       I know it's not real, but I just want to keep enjoying it for as long as I can; no matter how confused my thoughts become.
       He has been super attentive; always doing little things for me, but I think it's just because he is a beautiful person inside and out.

       Just eight weeks left until I go back to Blighty; That's the UK.
       It's now July and they are going to perform at the SBS Super concert in Taipei, Taiwan.
       South Korean media begins circulating reports of an upcoming album from BTS.
       At least they are concentrating on the band's achievements. It seems that everyone has forgotten about the 'scandal' of eating lunch with a BTS member, which is definitely ok with me.
       I was mortified by that little episode. The company and members were so supportive at the time. I am very grateful for that.

       It's announced on July 16th...Love Yourself: Answer album.
       My favourite track is Tear, maybe I am biased (get the pun) as my beautiful RM collabs with Suga and Hobi on this emotionally fierce rap. And Oh My God! The truth untold by the vocal line. It feels like that one has dipped right into my soul.
       This is my story. I hide behind my mask, the mask of friendship – but I still want you!

       Facebook Messenger launches a BTS-Inspired sticker set featuring BT21 characters. Oh my gosh it just keeps getting worse. Namjoon's character is Koya, the Koala. Cute!.....hmphh!

       My last few weeks start with Fake Love being certified gold by the RIAA.

       We also announce their first-ever Stateside stadium-size Show, set to take place in October in New York at Citi Field.
       Sadly, I will no longer be with them by then, my dream will be over.