༄✫ᵗʰᵉ 𝐀𝚗𝚐𝚎𝚕✫༄ // Billy Andrews

Eleven

The next few weeks went by in a routine that almost resembled a dance. Beatrice tried her very best to avoid Billy while trying not to be rude and the boy spent most days trailing after her trying to speak to her. Eventually, he got frustrated with the whole situation and stopped. In his mind, he understood everything very clearly. She didn't want to speak to him anymore and he would stop chasing after her if that was what she wished. On the other side, her mind couldn't be more of a mess. Since she had learned that Billy and Josie had kissed her thoughts couldn't seem to make any sense. It was like she didn't control her mind anymore. She would be in class listening attentively and her mind would wander off somewhere else. This started happening all the time. At first, she fought it, afraid of the thoughts that were hiding somewhere behind that door in her brain that she kept being pulled towards. But after a while she could take no more and finally, on a rainy day while sitting on her bedroom floor she let her mind go where it wanted to go. Where it needed to go in order to find peace. Maybe it would stop that aching in her heart, she thought, that awful feeling that she believed was going to make her go absolutely mad if it didn't stop soon. 

After what felt like an eternity of contemplating and feeling she finally let herself understand. She could no longer pretend that nothing was happening. She loved him and she knew it. She had known it all along. It was no longer possible to deny herself the truth. She missed him dearly. She missed his laugh and the way he talked to her. She missed having someone that noticed her. Someone that cared. She missed feeling special every time he was nice to her cause she knew she was the only one that got to see that side of him. And most of all she missed that feeling in her chest pulling her to him every time she saw him.

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Billy's friends were not oblivious to the change in the boy's behavior. He was tense and less patient. Most of the time hanging out with him was as if a group of ghosts was trying to hang out with a person. He wouldn't hear them and sometimes he wouldn't even look at them. It was like he was so deep into thought that the outside world simply seized existing. And more often than not it was probably for the better that he wasn't listening for sometimes the conversations tended to point to a certain curly-haired girl. And some of the things discussed would have most likely led to Billy's fist meeting someone's eye. 

                                                                  **********

The day of the panto and the dance recital finally arrived. Beatrice had been able to avoid Billy just fine during the weeks of practice since she would only be performing in the recital and the ballerinas never rehearsed at the same time as the students that would be performing in the play. 
She had done recitals before but the nerves she felt this time were different. Probably because it would be the first time he would see her dance. that is if he doesn't hate you by now and doesn't decide to just ignore the whole performance. Overthinking had ways been something she was quite good at.
It started like it usually did. She started being too aware of her surroundings and then the noise was too loud to cope with. Her heart started beating faster and her hands started playing with her jewelry in an attempt to regain control. The dressing room felt too cramped, she could only smell hair products, everyone was shouting and it was getting difficult to breathe. The girl quickly stormed out of the room headed to one of the side doors of the theater that lead to the stress. When she stepped outside she felt a chill go all the way down her spine due to the cold night breeze. She took three deep breaths. Made a list of everything she still needed to do. hair, makeup, dressing, rehearsal. hair, makeup, dressing, rehearsal. Another two deep breaths and she was ready to go back in when she suddenly heard footsteps in the pitch black that was the street at that time of night. She squinted her eyes but could only make out the silhouette of a boy walking toward her. "Billy, is that you?"