I belong to him {buckyxreader}

27~ Your Past is catching up

I definitely Recommend sad music like I love you so - the Walters or Michelle- Sir Chloe or Space song- beach house whatever you want!

I turned over in the bed onto Bucky's chest but I was disappointed when I realised he was gone. I sat up in the bed, my heart sank. Deep down I knew that he would leave after we finally had sex, they all did.

I checked the time- 3:00 in the morning. I noticed Bucky's coat and boots were gone as I walked down the steps of Stark's tower, "Good morning." The voice behind me made me jump. "Oh Steve you scared me!" He was eating a small bowl of cereal staring through the window at the white coat of snow on the grass. "What are you doing up so early?" He asked placing the bowl down. "I could ask you the same thing." I whispered trying not to wake anyone. "I was wondering Steve..." he looked up at me as I hesitated. "mhmm." I have to find Bucky. "Did you see Bucky leave by any chance?" I know he was the one that left but the way he stroked my hair as I fell asleep in his arms and kissed my forehead, made me think he actually had feelings for me- so why would he leave? "Fun fact, I do, but he told me not to tell you and he doesn't want you to follow him." He spun back around on the stool to watch the falling snow again. "Steve please I have to talk to him it's an emergency." It took a lot of persuading before Steve finally told me where he was. Maybe if I was fast I could catch him.

I headed down the street practically running with my big jumper and leather boots. I made my way to the warehouse, slipping on the ice. I heard voices coming from inside.

~Bucky's POV~

"I didn't know what I was doing Loki and I've wanted to tell her for a while but I just couldn't." Loki strolled over smirking at my vulnerability. "You know you're bad for her." I knew I was but I just couldn't seem pull myself away from her. "Your selfish for doing this to her, lying to her, you don't deserve her do you?" I gave up, Loki was right I didn't deserve her, I'm not good enough and I never will be.

Just then I heard a small creak behind me, and I turned around to see Y/n.

~Y/n POV~

"It seems we have company." Loki was lurking behind him, as I stood in front of Bucky, we just stared at each other, he looked ashamed. why? "What's going on Bucky?" Loki made his way towards us. "Why don't you just tell her Bucky, you've already caused her enough pain." I was so confused what was Loki talking about? What did Bucky do? I had so many questions.

"What is he talking about Bucky?" I stepped towards him clearly he was upset. I touched his arm but he pulled away. "Don't touch me Y/n, I've already hurt you enough."
"Bucky please talk to me." He finally looked up at me making eye contact. "Y/n." He lifted his hands and intertwined them with my hands staring at me like it was the last time he was ever going to see me again. He struggled to make out the sentence and I could feel the pit in my stomach grow. "Y/n I'm the reason your.. your Mother is dead." I felt weak in my knees, my hands started to shake.
"W-what?"
"When I was with hydra I didn't know what I was doing Y/n and I'm so sorry, Hydra knew you were special and they need you but your mother wouldn't let them take you away, so they forced me to kill her. I'm sorry
Y/n.. your mother was my mission." I didn't say anything I just pulled my fingers away from his and I could feel my eyes well with tears I couldn't even look at him, it couldn't be true I know that Bucky isn't himself when he's the winter soldier but I didn't think about that. My hands made its way to my neck were the necklace Bucky gave me sat. His eyebrows raised and his nose flared slightly like he was going to cry. Good I wanted him to cry, I wanted him to feel at least a fraction of the pain I was feeling right now. I unclipped the necklace and placed it in his cold hands and curled his fingers around the delicate pearls. Our relationship, everything was built on one lie. I couldn't bare to be with him another second so I just ran. I wanted to be as far away from him as possible.

I pushed the metal door open and ran down the street as fast as I could but I felt so weak, overwhelmed, hurt. I stopped at a street light to catch my breath, tears streaming down my face as I held my stomach trying to lessen the churning sick feeling. I slid down onto the cold snow as it seeped through my clothes but I didn't notice, my mind was whirring with questions and the only person who could answer them was Bucky. I didn't want him to find me, I didn't want to see him or even think about him again. I tried to process what just happened but all I could feel was the sting on my cheeks from my salty tears. What made it worse was that I thought I could trust him, i felt so safe in his arms not too long ago, I genuinely thought I loved him but now,

I hate him and that will never change.