I belong to him {buckyxreader}

28~ Without him

A few weeks had passed since that night and I hadn't seen Bucky,  I tried my best to not think about him otherwise all the emotions would spill out of me and my tears would never stop.

I made sure to steer clear of stark towers and I was back to living in my apartment, which I didn't mind, I didn't realise how much I missed it. Nat made sure to check on me everyday to see how I was doing and brought me breakfast and talked to me so I didn't feel so lonely, I had to distract myself or I would end up thinking of him, I had to keep him at the back of my mind.

Nat walked through the door- I had given her a key in case of emergencies but she came and went as she pleased. She came in sighing as she saw me- as usual lying in my bed with the covers over me. "Y/n.. you've got to get out of this apartment." She dropped her things and walked towards the bed. "No thanks I'm good." I slid back under the covers- it was warm there. "You're coming on a walk with me. Now." I almost felt sleep wash over me again but before I could close my eyes Nat pulled the sheets that I was coated in onto the floor. "NAT!" I sat up in the soft bed in just my shorts and bra, the cold air crept in through the cracked windows of my apartment, pulling all the New York smells with it. I shivered at the feeling. 

Nat wondered out the room before returning with a jumper, shirt and tracksuits. "Come one Y/n We can get breakfast at that cafe you like." I was hesitant at first but I decided to go because it would be nice to go out and I noticed how eager Nat was.

We walked down the busy streets, bumping into a few people on the way. Nat and I walked past Darcey's coffee shop and I gave her a small wave through the glass. We finally got to the cafe, it was tucked away on a little street a couple minutes away from my apartment and it had the most beautiful designs- there were vines twisting around the ceiling and counters with small pink, white and green flowers dotted around and abstract paintings hung on the walls.

There was a small table tucked in the back of the cafe next to a huge window with a gorgeous view. We sat down and talked- mostly about Nat but only because she knew what happened and didn't want to force me to talk about it. "So Nat you and Steve." I wiggled my eyebrows. Of course something was going on between them- their perfect for each other. "We'll... he's actually my boyfriend!" My mouth slightly gaged in shock. "Nat that's so exciting! Why didn't you tell me sooner?"she was silent for while before answering. "I didn't want to bother you." Nat took a small sip form her drink. "Bother me? What do you mean?" I knew what she was getting at and I wasn't ready for this conversation to happen. "Well with everything that's going on I thought you had your plate full... with you know who ." I laughed but only to make the silence less deafening. "Nat.. you can say his name." I sighed- who better to talk to about this than Nat? "Look I'm sorry I've been distant it's just I needed time to process what happened and to think about it. Bucky lied to me, he hurt me." His name coming out my mouth felt so wrong but at the same time I missed it. "It's not your fault Y/n what he did- lying to you like that is Unforgivable but you can't act like you hate him forever." Nat slid her hand onto mine giving me a comforting smile. "But I do hate him and I don't think I ever want to see him again."

After our conversation everything was silent for a bit before We decided to talk about something else- something happier. Nat walked me back to my apartment making sure I was safe. It was already 4:00 pm, we had been out for a while and I was so tired, talking about him is exhausting. I changed out of my clothes, into my pyjamas and slumped onto my bed.