L A B A L A

xxiv: ms. namira/out the woods

a/n: long chapter since I combined two chapters together. --AA

24: Ms. Namira/Out the Woods

I have never been so confused in my life I couldn't understand if he wanted me close or far away, the fact that he had me pulled so close said one thing but him not saying anything at all said another. We were on the plane on a one way ticket back to the States, if the circumstances were different I would have been miserable we were going back a day earlier than we should, but the circumstances weren't, and I couldn't leave Emilio alone.

Every time he spoke of Roz, I could tell that he was the father that Emilio was robbed of at such a young age. This man was a factor and a necessary block in his life, if Emilio didn't meet Roz then there would be no telling where he would be, and I wouldn't want to know where he would be. Looking up at him his eyes were fixated on the window and a frown was on his face.

If I could just take a peek into his mind I would be grateful I promise I will, kissing his peck I nuzzled myself closer to his chest and his arm tightened around me out of an automatic action. I didn't want to fall asleep even though my body was telling me different, but I didn't want to him to think that I didn't care.

"When I was younger my mother hired this lady..." Taking a breath I began tracing his ribcage, "Her name was Namira, she was Haitian and Dominican, she watched over me whenever my mother would have to go out of the country for a shoot and she couldn't take me with her but she was really the only person my mother trusted me with, over the years she became my second mother and whenever my mother wasn't there she was there to listen to my problems and tell me whenever I wasn't being the most wise."

Laying my palm flat on his ribcage I let out a small laugh, "I remembered one time where she told me that 'if a man talks about his money first than he surely doesn't have the package to back up his words' but everything she told me I put it into my mind because she was such a beautiful person not just on the outside, but on the inside. As the years went on she wasn't as bright as she was when I first met her, and she didn't have as much passion in her words and then one night my mother woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me Namira passed to breast cancer two hours prior."

Looking up at him I saw that his eyes was close, but I wasn't sure if he was asleep or not, "I had been wrapped up in my own life so much that I didn't pay attention to her health and I didn't care to ask until then and it was too late," Holding my palm to his cheek I ignored the stinging of tears, "I'm going to be here for you no matter how much you are going to push me away I don't care how this turns out I will be there with you because I love you and for the first time I don't care about myself anymore but you."

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Rubbing Emilio's back I stared at the hospital walls, when we touched down in the States, the first thing we came in contact was the pap, people wanted to see the forbidden couple, and the man who was on the edge of losing his father figure.

It was fucking disgusting.

I had never had these thoughts preceding Emilio, but now it made a queasy feeling in my stomach, that they were willing to do this just to entertain people. They wanted to see a man in pain, for a fucking dollar sign, what did I ever see in this.

It was crazy how one's point of view could change just from three and a half days, I understand that there were pictures of us from Colombia but at least they had the manners to do it at a distance. We were able to enjoy our privacy, and that was something that became an important component in my new lifestyle. It was something about doing something just for yourself and not for the world and becoming anxious from the opinions of people that are telling you things that you don't want to hear.