play pretend | BUCKY BARNES

sixteen

Everything was a blur since then, more time passed where Bucky would block himself out from the rest of the world, avoiding everyone apart from his work colleagues because he knew that they wouldn't talk about you, even if they knew who you were it was an unspoken rule at the office not to talk to the boss or his son about their personal lives.

But Bucky knew it couldn't go on much longer, he could avoid you for as long as he wanted, but it was unfair to block Steve out too. They had been through everything together and Bucky told him everything and he was always the first Bucky went to for advice (well apart from about his feelings for you- but only because Sam pried that information out of him.)

Bucky finally decided it was time to force himself to take a night off from work and meet up with Steve, so it was finally time to answer one of the few million texts he had sent him over the past month.

Steve: Hey, pal. I'm getting worried, called the office and they said you had been in working a lot lately, at least I know your not dead, lol. Want to come over for some drinks tonight?

Bucky: Yeah, yeah. Sounds good. I'll see you at 7. Only if you buy the beer ;)

Steve: Good to hear from ya, Buck. Sure thing, they're in the fridge waiting on us.

For the first time in weeks, a genuine smile spread across Buckys face. As much has he dreaded tonight, he really had missed his best friend.

—

A month ago

Everything had fallen apart at once. One minute you felt good about ending things with Loki, it felt like the right thing to do at the time. But then you realised he was your only distraction from well... Everything.

As soon as he grabbed the few things he had, bid you farewell and left, everything crumbled around you. The first night was fine, the empty bed felt slightly strange after 3 weeks of sharing it with someone, but the next day was when everything hit.

You let Tony know you would be coming back into work the next day, you survived the morning, the adrenaline from your coffee still running through your veins.

"Y/N, honey, I missed you!"  Your New York father-figure greeted that morning, sauntering into your office.

"Tony!"  You stood up and hugged him, which he jokingly pulled away from, which earned him a glare from you.

"Hey!" He teased, "I don't wanna catch your disease!"

"It's not infectious, asshole."

He chuckled and left the office, throwing a peace sign in your direction as he did so.

Lunch came, and gone. You stayed in your office. Sometimes you would venture out into the park and buy something from a hotdog stand, but today you decided against it, staying in the comfort of your own space was more appealing for you. Just until you worked up your social skills again after 3 weeks of being off  'sick'

And that, that is when everything went to shit. All of a sudden tears streamed down your face and you felt like you were drowning. Everything was just piling up on top of you and you were trapped in your own mind.

It was a never ending tunnel, but in this story- There was no light at the end.

After your breakdown you managed to finish the first draft of an article, after not writing for a few weeks you thought you'd suffer writers block on some level, but all the words poured out of you easily enough, but all of the thoughts you were trying to block out were still running through your mind at a thousand miles per hour... Your mom, the social anxiety from returning to work, ending things with Loki and... Bucky.