play pretend | BUCKY BARNES

eighteen

No sleepovers. No sleepovers. No sleepovers.

How he was going to explain this one was beyond him. He didn't even know where to start never mind give you the full story.

Despite going home go get sleep, he hadn't even gotten a minute of it. He sat on the sofa watching the hours tick by, his leg bouncing as anxiety overtook him, his whole body frozen in place.

He tried to shakily stand up, clutching onto the arm of the chair as he steadied himself before slowly falling to the floor again. He leant against the sofa with his legs pulled in against his chest.

The blood pounded in his ears. His heart thudded in his chest. His hands shook. He couldn't breathe.

His vision went blurry and he couldn't think straight. It felt like the walls were closing in, each second the bricks coming closer to his face he was trapped.

Seconds felt like hours, and minutes felt like days.

He didn't know how long he sat there, unable to breathe, he thought he was dying. He wouldn't see light again after this.

"Bucky? You home? I brought breakfast."

A voice came from the door but Bucky hadn't noticed, he was still curled up on the floor frozen in place. He hadn't felt like this since he came back from overseas, and now all of the emotions he felt then and thought he got rid of were all flooding back.

"Bucky?"

The footsteps drew closer, Bucky completely unaware of the presence of anyone else, all he could think of was darkness. Nothing but paranoia was in the back of his head. Darkness had overtook him, his breath was sharp and his cold, shaking hand clutched to his chest trying to even his breathing.

"BUCKY?!"

Steve ran up to his best friend, falling to his knees in front of Bucky. Steve took both of his hands in his and Bucky looked up to him, his hard, blood-shot eyes filled with pain broke Steve's heart.

"S-Steve?" Bucky asked.

He didn't know what was real anymore, he didn't know how much time had passed. Bucky tried to squeeze Steve's hand, just to make sure he was really there and his mind wasn't playing anymore tricks on him.

"Yeah, that's right, buddy. I'm right here." Steve replied. "You gotta breathe okay?"

Bucky nodded.

"In, and out. We're gonna count to three and breathe together, yeah?"

Bucky nodded again and followed Steve's directions, breathing in control on Steve's counts.

When Buckys breathing evened out, he lifted himself up and sat back on the sofa, where he had been before his panic attack.

Steve sat next to him, leaving some space so he didn't feel trapped.

"I'm sorry you had to see that-" Bucky apologised quietly.

"You don't have to apologise, Buck. I'm just glad I was here to help."

"It felt like I was dying."

"I won't let you die on my watch, Buck." Steve said, patting Buckys back. "I'm with you till the end of the line, pal."