Leah Grimes

Chapter 85

When we got to Alexandria I was set down on my bed and I looked around realizing I was home. "No." I sat up. "I'm not staying here, this isn't my home anymore." Daryl knelt down beside me, "I'm going to look for him, I'm never going to stop looking." I shook my head, "did he even make it back to Alexandria that day?" I saw tears form in Daryls eyes as he looked away from me. "I'm sorry Leah." I leaned back against my head board. "DID HE MAKE IT BACK HOME OR NO?" Daryl shook his head. "FUCK YOU. FUCK ALL OF YOU." I slammed my hand against the wall ignoring the hole that was left as I pulled my fist back. Daryl grabbed me holding me tightly as I cried into his shoulder. "I need him," I whispered. Daryl pushed hair out of my face, "I know." I closed my eyes holding on, I was so angry and sad, and lost, and confused, I wanted to keep screaming at Daryl but I couldn't find my voice.

I didn't sleep that night after he had left. I waited a few hours and then I stood up finding a different shirt quietly walking down the stairs. I saw Michonne sitting up on the couch she turned her head when she heard me come down. "Leah," she whispered. I shook my head walking out the door instead of answering her. It was dark out, but the sun was beginning to rise.

I got on a horse leading it towards the gates. Aaron was on guard, "Leah, I don't think you should be going out there." I looked him dead in the eye, "open the gate." He sighed stepping back doing as I asked. I rode in silence until the remains of the bridge came into view. Slowly I got off the horse walking towards the spot where Dad was standing only hours ago.

I sat down closing my eyes, I sat there for hours occasionally looking at the bridge. I remember standing down at the bottom, and I remember his words, "Look away Leah." I shook my head, "it wouldn't matter if I looked away Dad because you're still gone." I heard footsteps behind me. "It's me." Daryl announced. "I'm out here looking. Haven't found anything yet. Maybe.." I shook my head, "don't do that, don't give me false hope. He's gone. He's gone like everyone else. Why wouldn't he wait for us to get there, to help him? Did he not want to live? I needed him. Carl and Dad, I need them both."

I felt him sit down beside me and I looked away. "Your Dad wanted you to live more than anything. He wanted to make sure you made it, whatever Carl told him about his vision, about you. It stuck with him." I nodded, "Carl said every decision Dad made would effect how I ended up ten years from now. Because I would always follow Dad no matter what."

Daryl put his arm around me, and I let out a small cry. "I don't want to be here without them." He nodded, "I don't either, but you have a little sister who's going to need you more than anything growing up. Your mom, your dad, Carl. You're living for them, because they can't." I bit my lip, "they all died because they were selfless, they were good people. I'm still alive because I'm not like them." Daryl shrugged, "I've seen you give up a lot to help other people. You're the last person I'd call selfish." I nodded, "are you going to stop looking for him?" Daryl shook his head, "never." I stood up, "neither am I." My chin rested on my knees, "I want to go back, to when we were all alive, and together at the start. I want my family back." He nodded, "I still miss Merle." I scoffed, "I don't." This made Daryl smile, "I'm sorry Leah. I would've died for them." I shook my head, "that wouldn't have made a difference because you're my family too, and you know that." He nodded, "guess it's just me, Carol and you left." I sighed, "that's the world we live in now."

Daryl put a hand on my shoulder, "meet me here tomorrow. I'll look today, go take it easy. Sleep Leah. Do me a favour talk to Michonne, talk to Judith.

"I'll try." I did as he said heading back to Alexandria. When I got there I started to head home but then I saw the cells and turned around. I slowly walked down the steps sitting down in front of Negan's cell. I watched as he got up turning to look at me. "I heard what happened." I didn't answer I just stared at him. "Why are you down here kid?" I started to open my mouth but no words came out it was just a loud sob.

I was chocking on my words trying to yell at him. "It's.. its. everything.. it's your... fault." He sighed, "I know that." I shook my head pushing tears away, "I wish you did kill me. Then I wouldn't have had to watch them all die." Negan nodded, "I'm glad I didn't." I looked up, "why's that?" He shrugged, "because no one is as stupid and emotionally messed up as you. Which means no one comes down here for a good ol therapy session with Negan." I scoffed, "I'm not crying to you. I'm simply crying in front of you, because who cares if you think I'm weak. You're pathetic, you're locked up in a little cell and you mean nothing to me." He gave me a small smile, "I may have hated you, but you're not weak." I bit my lip, "maybe I wasn't before, but I am now."

I left the cell and walked to my house slowly opening the door. "Leah." I heard Michonne whisper. "Can we talk?" I turned to see her sitting on the couch curled up in a blanket. I sat down beside her, and she grabbed my hand placing it on her belly. "I'm pregnant." My hand went limp and I stared at her unable to find the words.

"I just found out, and I knew I had to tell you. I'm sorry I can't imagine what you're thinking right now." I pulled my hand back, "did he know before he did that?" She shook her head, "no." I looked down at my feet, "why would he do it? Was I not worth at least fighting for? He had a family here. Did he want to leave to be with mom and Carl?" Michonne put her hand on my leg, "I don't know what he was thinking. But I know how much he loved you." I stood up, "it'd be nice, if you didn't leave." She gave me a small smile, "you're my family. I'm going to be here for you and Judith every damn day, just like Carl wanted, and just what you're father wanted." I nodded, "you are her mother after all." I saw Michonne place a hand back on her belly. "They're lucky. To have such a good mom."

Skipping 5 years ahead