Cutie Pies

...the hardest word(A/D)

I can't believe I forgot to post this before my break🤦🏻‍♂️
Sorry about the disappearence, life got too busy.

...

Stephen jumped to open the door, knowing well who was ringing the bell so desperately. Opening the door he stepped aside letting the two other men in "You okay?" He asked the shorter man needlessly.

"I will be, is he in?" Dec's slightly red eyes and Jonny's worried glance made Stephen hesitate before nodding toward the staircase.

"Yeah, talk to him. I couldn't calm him down since he realized you're coming." The younger presenter winced at Dec's suddenly hurt face.

Dec nodded to nothing, almost like he said something to himself in his head, "Thanks Stevie" and headed toward the guest room.

Stephen followed the shorter man and put a careful hand on his back, whispering," Dec, he's sorry. If I can do anything to..."

"Thank you" the older geordie slipped away from his loose hold. Noticing Dec's serious tone Stephen winced maybe he could let them solve whatever that was between themselves.

"He's upstairs, guest room" the londoner mumbled, already aware of the boys' full familiarity with his house.

...

Dec was stood near the door watching  Ant's slumped form on the bed, not knowing how to start, he let his mouth run on its own, "I didn't mean it" almost like a scolded child.

It took Ant few seconds and a small shake of head but he finally looked up looking at Dec with tired eyes, "I know" voice hoarse from lack of use.

"Will you forgive me?" how the tables turn, Dec thought. If only he could control his temper he was the one needing an apology.

"I should ask you that" Ant huffed a bitter laugh.

Okay maybe Dec did need that apology but that didn't mean he needed Ant this sad or broken, maybe he didn't need that apology that much, maybe if Ant tried hard enough for them both he could let him off the hook, maybe...

He stopped himself overthinking.

"Anth..." he put a small trace of pleading mixed with guilt in his voice, he knew how to make his younger husband talk.

"You don't trust me anymore" said Ant flatly, still looking tired but this time hurt as well.

"I do, I just don't trust myself. I can't fight for the two of us"

It wasnt a lie.

Ant's face turned to him sharply, eyebrows raised "I'm not trying?"

"You're trying but not for us, you're doing it for me"

"Isn't that proving anything?"

"No, I don't want to lose you. Youre giving up on everything and keeping your mask for my sake"

And there went what he'd bottled up for some time. He continued with his voice breaking a little.

"I want my bestfriend back, my husband back, this isn't my Anth! this is someone with his face"
And with that, the water work started.

Ant's breath hitched, Dec's wet eyes always made his chest hurt, knowing he himself did it this time made it hurt even more. "People change"
he shrugged turning away looking back down.

"Stop it, don't you want this anymore? Dont you want us?!"
Now the shorter geordie was sobbing and Ant almost hit his head on the wall with self hatred.