Beyond the Pain

Beyond the Pain - Chapter Ten.

Chapter ten.

 Snuggling down in bed with Nick, I couldn't get comfy. The days events were whirling around in my head. Nick had been supportive, but of course he'd agreed that I should see someone. He was sleeping next to me as I lay awake in the dark. I tried resting my head against his back, stealing his warmth and comfort. After trying to sleep for another half an hour or so, I sighed and gave up. Carefully making sure I didn't wake Nick, I slid out of bed and downstairs. Holly and Dylan followed, as I went to check on the puppies.

    They were all sleeping, so I left them to it and Holly decided to stay with them. Dylan and I went into the living room and snuggled on the couch. I tugged the fleece throw blanket from underneath the cushions and pulled it around us. I liked cuddling with Dylan; he was smaller than the other dogs and a much better size to rest his head on my knee. As he fell asleep, I contemplated what my family thought of me and what they wanted to get out of me through counselling sessions.

    Although they didn't mean any harm, they're actions had hurt me. Even my mum, who was ill, had conjured up the energy to lie to me about the stranger in her house. I was adamant that there was nothing wrong with me, even if everyone else seemed to disagree. Kat still believed I was okay, didn't she? I hoped to God that she wasn't just stringing me along with lies like everyone else. Also, if I did do what they wanted and saw a counsellor, how would it help me? I couldn't see the benefits so I blocked that idea out of my mind. There was too much to think about, which didn't help with the sleeping problem. I turned the TV on a random channel with the volume right down, just to keep my mind from thinking too much.

    I must have fallen asleep because I was awoken by the blip of a phone going off. It must have been Nick's as I hardly ever get texts; I don't have enough friends. I suppose Nick was right about that. Most of my friends have moved on, but I don't feel bad about it. It's what I wanted at the time and I don't regret it. It's a lot easier to concentrate on my life without having to plan it around people who gossip about pointless topics. They were all singles, living it up and enjoying the freedom of being able to go out drinking every night. Before I got pregnant, I loved going out too. I would meet up with them about three or four times a week and go partying. Nick was the same, but I suppose I don't let him do that anymore; I need him more now.

    I was jolted from my thoughts as the phone went off again. I checked my watch. It was almost six and I noticed that the winter sunrise was glowing through the curtains. I could also hear shuffles and whines coming from the puppy room. Guess it's time to get up. As I dragged myself off the couch, Dylan woke up and yawned. God, he was cute.

    I wandered into the puppy room to find a surprisingly clean room. There were a few wet papers but apart from that it was spotless.

    “Good job, guys!” I told them.

    I quickly gave them some food and refreshed their water, then started on the rest of the dogs' breakfast and water bowls. Once I was done sorting them out, I found Nick's phone on the kitchen table and browsed through his new messages, just out of interest. They were both from the same person, someone I had never heard Nick mention before; her name was Jess. I frowned, wondering who this girl could be. To try and figure it out, I opened his inbox. There were only two messages there; the ones he had just received. This confused me. Why would he delete his messages unless he had something to hide? My heart lurched as I opened the first message.

    'why haven't you called me baby?' it read. I had no idea who this woman was and she was calling my husband 'baby'. Nick cheating on me was not something I had ever thought about. He was mine and I was his and that was how I saw it. We'd never wanted anyone else. I drew in a breath and tried to tell myself it was nothing, Nick wouldn't do something like that. I opened the second text, my eyes fixed on the screen. This text said 'please answer my calls, I would love to see you again x'. Without thinking, I deleted both messages and switched the phone on silent, placing it back where it was. I couldn't deal with this right now.