forever & always

they'll tell you I'm insane

I hate writing past istg
Tw: panic attack and eating disorder and kind of abuse¿
*present time*
Joe's pov

I turned back at home, still being yelled by Tiffany who is just 5 months along and her hormones are going crazy.

"where were you?" she yelled
"none of your business" to be honest we had fights often recently which was frustrating.
"oh so now i can't know where the fuck my husband is"
"what do you want? I'm already home don't you see? Now calm down oh my god"
"I AM CALM" she yelled and ran upstairs, slamming door really angrily.

I just cuddled up on a couch, under cozy blankets getting lost in flashbacks with her.

*flashback*
"joe?"
"yes love?"
"i wrote a song today, you wanna hear it?" taylor asked cuddled up on Joe's chest, both of them under blankets on couch.
"of course"
"well it isn't finished but I'll play bridge"
"okay" joe kissed her as she got up for guitar.

she sat down on floor and started playing on candle light while lights went off.

"Ladies and gentlemen, will you please stand?
With every guitar string scar on my hand
I take this magnetic force of a man to be my lover
My heart's been borrowed and yours has been blue
All's well that ends well to end up with you
Swear to be overdramatic and true to my lover
And you'll save all your dirtiest jokes for me
And at every table, I'll save you a seat, lover"

She finished playing and went back on couch to joe who was grinning at her with his sparkly blue eyes.

"soo did you li-" she was cut off by joe who slammed his lips on hers and kissed her deeply, she kissed him back which turned into a little makeout session.

They pulled back and stared into each others eyes, both of theirs sparkling in the dark.

"i loved it so so much" he kissed her on forehead and taylor rested her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat.

"i love you so much" she said softly
"love you more" he looked down to her and smiled at himself, lucky to have her.

She started falling asleep on his chest, snuggled up under blankets only candle lightning her face.

Joe looked down at sleeping beauty in his arms, picking her up and heading upstairs, tugging himself and her under bedsheets while he fell asleep soon too.

*end of flashback*

Tears streamed down my face when i just realized i still have feelings for her. I miss her but i just broke her heart which really doesn't confirm my feelings.

I love Tiffany but not that much i loved taylor. Even how much i want to go back with her it's impossible, i broke her many times and i don't deserve her anymore.

Getting exhausted from crying i could tell i was falling asleep so i got up lazily and went upstairs to sleep.

[a few days later]

Taylor's pov
Im already home which is such a relief. I think being in hospital is my daily week routine which i don't like that much.

Basically it's 2am and i am still awake (rararatatatatatatyatya) (sorry)
I'm still thinking about what joe said, i didn't think he would go this far after all of we've been through.

To clear my mind i start scrolling down Twitter and spy on fans when i hear a loud crash from downstairs.

I also hear high pitched voice of man "i am home taylor, darling, where are you?"

I stay there frozen, unable to breath were my instincts kick in and i go to bathroom with my phone.

My hands shake as i call 911 and tell them my situation.

I hear footsteps coming closer as I'm trying to stay quiet while im having full panic attack.

I curl up in a ball and wrap my arms around my body, tears streaming down my pale face.

Everything's gonna be okay, I'll be okay, just breath.

I try to cheer myself up but the door opens and a 38-39 year old looking, armed man steps in.

"oh sweetie, you don't have to hide from me you know?" he says in a sing-song voice.

"come he-" he gets interrupted by police who just stepped in but my happiness was too early for that.

"put your gun down right now!" policeman shouts but instead he tries to shoot me. (he heeee/sry again:)

I scream in fear but luckily it doesn't hit me and i avoid my daily week routine in hospital. For now.

They take the man and ask me few questions before they go and i stay at home alone again.

I go to bed and try to sleep but i end up awake whole night which happens a few more times.

__________

I don't eat or drink i just let myself suffer or drown. I just think, cry or stare at ceiling which doesn't get me in better place.

Finally i decide to get up from couch and go get shower after weeks.

I strip down clothes and look in the mirror, i have bags under my eyes, my hair is a whole mess and i have become skinny that you could see every single bone.

I sigh and step in shower which is really refreshing after all.

In the middle of the shower i could tell it was getting harder and harder to breath and i felt i was gonna pass out so i step out as fast as i could and went to bed immediately.

Just as i was gonna fall asleep i heard footsteps from downstairs. It didn't get louder, it didn't stop, it was like someone was just circling the room.

I thought there was another break in but no. I went downstairs to face nothing. Not a single sign of a human.

Confused i went upstairs and lied down again but it didn't stop, still there was sound of someone walking downstairs.

I tried to ignore sound but my fears were stronger. I opened my eyes and saw that man in the corner who disappeared in a second.

I froze on the bed. I didn't know what was happening to me but sure it wasn't anything good.

Neither footsteps or the man appearing didn't stop and i went all crazy with these.

I could see mum, dad, Austin everyone who was already dead blaming for their deaths.

"it isn't my fucking fault!!!" i screamed at Austin who just kept repeating "you are the reason, you are the reason" over and over again.

"no no shut up!" i screamed again with my head in my hands and sled down against the wall, against the wall were i was being tortured.

Here we go again.

Now adam.

I could feel his every touch on my skin and had these flashbacks where he tried to choke me.

I was pressed up on wall, his hand on my neck other one busy holding alcohol.

"please don't do this" i whispered trying to get my breath back.

He just laughed and tightened the grip when Caitlin came to room and freed me from him.

"you couldn't save me mum" is all she said and both of them disappeared together.

More tears started coming down from my eyes and unable to move i just lied down on the floor and passed out again.

Lmao i love this chapter ngl😏
But as i have experienced the footstep situation it's really not lovable-
Oh btw changed the cover finallyyyyyyy yay
anyways ty for readingggg - sofie🤍