Warm Nights

15. UNCONDITIONALLY

"Come just as you are to me
Don't need apologies
Know that you are worthy
I'll take your bad days with your good
Walk through the storm, I would
I do it all because I love you
I love you
Unconditional, unconditionally
I will love you unconditionally
There is no fear now
Let go and just be free
I will love you unconditionally."
-Katy Perry

🍒

Yana

I must admit I feel so high right now. Ganito ba talaga kapag in love ka? Like...hindi ka mapakali and there are always butterflies in your tummy? Grabe lang kasi kung noon may pumipigil sa akin para maka ramdam ng ganito and that was my job to Chad and the contract itself. My mind was fixed to follow all the rules and yes especially not to fall in love with him because I need the money.  But who would have thought na may nararamdaman pala si Chad sa akin? I thought physical attraction lang talaga and outside work - friendship. But then again mali na naman ako. Maybe because I do not want to expect because sometimes if your expectations are not met, it's really disappointing. Pero hindi naman kasi ako nag expect dahil nilugar ko lang ang sarili ko kung saan ako nararapat at noon akala ko ay hindi ako para kay Chad.

          
 

Ngayon na nag sink in na sa akin na mahal pala ako ni Chad and that he really wants me, napapa tawa ako sa mga nasasabi at nagawa ko noon akalain mong rurupok din pala ako. Haha! Sabagay gwapo naman talaga si Chad -mayaman pa pero I do not want to see him that way. Mas gusto kong tingnan ang Chad na -na survive yung mga pinagdadaanan niya kahit mag isa lang ito, yung achievements niya, at yung pagiging thoughtful at helpful niya. Yun. Yun ang Chad na mahal ko. And every time I look at his eyes -hay matutunaw ka na lang talaga because its full of love and desire. I just hope, I could give back all the love he has showed me and made me feel. Kung hindi man lahat, atleast, some of it.

                

The only challenge and struggle is, ang trabaho ko sa Singapore. Hindi na talaga pwede mag back out because may kontrata din ako doon and yung mga amo ko- they trust me. Hindi pa rin ako makapaniwala na pina uwi ako nila para lang makita ko ang kapatid ko. And I am hoping and praying for the best. Hindi ko ata kaya na bumalik ng Singapore if hindi pa ok si Jimuel.

           

After Chad and I made love - haaaay not just sex but a passionate love making! Sinabi nitong may ipapabasa siyang sulat. A letter her mom wrote to him. Bakit niya kaya gustong ipabasa ito sa akin?

             

Kinuha niya ito sa bulsa ng pantalon niya at naglakad na ito pabalik sa akin sa kama. Kaso may naalala na naman ako...

     

"Hoy Chad! Anak ng! Hindi ka na naman nag condom ano?!" Sabi ko at napahilamos ng mukha. Tawang tawa naman ito habang naglalakad na nakahubad pabalik.

"Hoy! Tawa tawa ka lang diyan nananadya ka talaga eh!" Inis kong sabi at hinalikan niya naman ako sa labi

 

"Alam mo baby...feel ko malapit na kitang mabuntis"