Domination mxmxmxm

Chapter 20 (Unedited)

Onyx POV

So much happened today, and I felt like shit for all of it now. What the fuck is wrong with me. Putting work before Camryn. Putting my needs before his. When the hell did I become so self centered? Was it when I hooked the guy I love and a guy I just met up together? Was it when I started building a company with said person and then gaining success and fame? Or the confidence I got with all the attention I get in public? Oh god, am I becoming my mother. 

I shake my head in hopes of shaking away the thought of, well everything. Unfortunately thoughts aren't an etch a sketch. If it where every time I had a problem I would just give myself brain damage.  But right now all I can think about is that I am a piece of shit boyfriend. 

"I have to go the bathroom" I told all the boys. We where in the living room watching Hercules. Lucas still had Cam in his arms and Santi was sitting right next to them humming along with the song that was lulling Cam to sleep. Lucas ever so slightly nodded. So at least someone heard me. 

When I got to the bathroom I softly shut the door behind me and turned on the shower heat all the way up. I took off my socks because eww, just no. I walked into the shower clothes still on. The water was burning my skin and I craved it. I stared at the ceiling just thinking. And for the first time in a very long time I doubted myself. Maybe it has just been because it's been a long time since I have had a sub. Did I forget how to take care of someone? 

My thoughts where interrupted by a knock on the door. "Onyx?" It was Santi. I didn't say anything. After today I had nothing to say. I truly showed my colors. I barely recognized that Santi opened the door and walked in. I was so out of it I didn't even close the shower curtain when I got in. 

"Jeez am I the only stable person in this damn house?" Santi frustratingly asked and walked over to me and started to strip himself from his clothes. Stepping inside Santi shrieked. "Hot, hot, holy fuck, hot" Santi rushed turning the water to a normal temp. Santi silently started to peel off my clothes and help me out of them. 

I know its weird for my best friends boyfriend to be in the shower with me but for us the was normal. And hopefully soon we would all be together. After Santi removed every piece of clothing he would give my skin a small kiss. Except my underwear when he removed them he kissed my hip. 

After I was naked Santi grabbed my face and stared into my eyes. "It's not your fault, and you are not a bad dom. You are a man with feelings, and people process things differently. In these situations people tend to be selfish to protect themselves. The best thing you can do now, is just start over. Be his daddy not his boyfriend he needs closure and comfort and love and YOU god dammit YOU. Don't fail him now. If I didn't know you I would say he is too much work for you" Santi sighed. 

"But I know you. And I know you love him" My heart was beating a million times a minute. "You love him, and I have NEVER seen you like this with someone before. But he needs you right now. And Lucas needs you. And I need you" I didn't notice the tears until Santi was wiping them away.  

"Start over, and tell him you love him." I nodded and pulled Santi into a tight hug. Santi hugged back with just as much force. When he let go I got out off the shower put a towel around my waist and walked out of the bathroom with Santi close behind in only a towel too. I pulled a sleeping Camryn out of Lucas' arms and into mine. 

If I didn't need him as bad as I did right now I would have felt bad for waking him. "I'm so sorry baby. I am so sorry." I hid my head in his neck and a few tears escaped my eyes. Camryn's arms wrapped around my head and hugged me. I pulled back from his neck after a minute of absorbing his comfort. 

I looked directly into his crystal blue eyes "I love you". The love of my life's breath hitched, eyes wide. So shocked his winky fell right out of his mouth and laid between our chests. I lost it, as did Lucas and Santi. Three of us where laughing except the sweetly shocked baby in my arms. Mid laugh a warm delicate mouth was on mine softly trying to take charge of the kiss. And I let him.

When we pulled back we where both panting for air "I *huff* love *huff* you *huff* you *huff* too" I smiled till my cheeks ached. 

I picked up his pacifier and put it back in his mouth. "I think it's passed a little boys bed time" He whined But laid his head down on my shoulder head facing my neck. I slowly started to sway with him in my arms. I started humming a song my nanny would hum me every night and the song may be a bit ridiculous but I would not go to sleep without it. Until I was fourteen when she fired because I was too old to need a nanny. She was my real mother. My real mother who sand me 'You'll be in my heart' from Tarzan. 

When the song was over Camryn was already asleep and Santi had joined Lucas on the couch. It has been one hell of a day. But hey at the end of it at least we all still had each other. 

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A/N 

For now..... Mwahahahahaha.

Enjoy the bonus chapter. 2 in one day, dang and yes I know this one is shorter but hey its an extra. ~Loner 🖤