redamancy

𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐄.

fabricated.
chapter nine -

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

HOW DID it end this way? The look on your eyes doesn't feel the same way when you first saw him. The feelings you were having were nothing but feelings of a selfish human being.

You don't love Baji don't you? You only liked him for attention that no one has properly given to you... or maybe you were just blinded by Baji that you started to forget the other people who has been surrounding you for most of the time?

That's so pathetic of you to do- only losers would do this kinds of things.

And maybe that loser is you.

Now that Baji was slowly giving back the love you gave him- you didn't felt anything but the weird feeling you were receiving from the pit of your stomach.

Was it butterflies? Or someone tugging your heart down to surrender of loving him?

There was both teenagers, walking back towards home- more like Baji taking you back home. You should be giggling and blushing as your heart pumping fast now that Baji's starting to get comfortable being together with you.

And yet somehow, you felt none of that.

Confusion and doubts slowly arises from your mind whilst you both take each step towards your street. But sometimes- one has to stop.

Only guilt will bring them to their demise if they continue on taking steps forward towards a life full with lies.

Not only you would be hurt but also the people surrounding you as well. Yet you still have to accept that this is fate, that this is how it'll end, that everything is always not meant to be.

Baji deserves someone better than you.

You're not qualified to be his lover right? You're annoying, persuasive, and selfish. You did all of those things just for your own satisfaction- didn't you?

Was there no day you ever felt sincere? What about the day you told Baji you want to become his lover? Was that sincere or did just want to hang your time with someone who you admire to keep an eye on you?

But aren't we all greedy for something we all longed for?

Wether it would be wealth, fame, food, friends, lovers- and all other things you could even think of.

They say that 'sharing brings you joy' then why aren't you feeling joyous now that Baji shared his love towards you?

You didn't want to see Baji break himself apart just when he was slowly starting loving you back. It's going to be unfair for him.

So you'll just keep walking forward together with him, even if days goes by filled with lies- you won't forgive yourself for it.

Bear all of the burdens, just don't let Baji get involved. It'll only pain you more and weight from your shoulders will grow heavier and heavier each day.

"Kei-chan, I'm glad to have you."

You broke the silence that the both of you made, walking steadily. Baji tediously spins his head to the side to take a peek of your stony face. Eyes that were filled with a hint of regret- Baji ignored it. He didn't bothered to question it furthermore, he's already contented being together with you.