redamancy

𝐓𝐄𝐍.

feeling changes.
chapter ten -

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LETS SAY- two married couple madly inlove. They do things together, they laugh at each other, they understood eachother's feelings, they respect one another. Maybe a few small fights here and there but it'll always end up with a peck on the cheeks.

That's how'd you want to imagine life to be- spend it together with them. Be together with them until your hairs turns grey and your skins has gotten wrinkles.

Your body swaying back and forth while riding the rocking chair with them infront of the yard making their small little garden for you both to raise as a little children.

But isn't that thought of yours a little too... unrealistic for someone to dream of?

To love somebody- No to love, that phrase is terrifying to hear because you know love will never keep on existing in life.

It only holds memories that both parties held together. A memory that will be held for a lifetime yet only the taste of bitterness comes back up to your throat whilst reminiscing the past.

People change and it's a fact- feelings changes too, y'know.

You can't keep on loving the same thing over and over and over and over again... there are still times whereas you'll get fed off with it.

It won't feel the same when you first started loving doing these kinds of things for yourself...

Just because you love the things you do doesn't mean you'll continue on loving it.

You've been selfish for the past few months now- Baji had obviously fallen head over hells towards you while you just keep your love to yourself. Not even wanting to give all of your love to someone ever again.

Maybe it's because you're too tired to love someone back again? To talk to them, to entertain them, to stay with them for twenty four hours?

When was the last time you've got the time to be alone by yourself? Your own space? Your own world? Where's all of that?

Baji deserves a better lover than a shitty person like you.

It was cold- freezing weather and it was starting to snow. Christmas would come around in just a few more days, maybe that's the only chance for you to tell him how you really feel.

"Where do you wanna hang out during Christmas, [name]." You could tell Baji stumbled with his steps as he made his way towards your walking figure with a smile planted on his face.

The young man was excited! He already had a gifted prepared for the day and you'll definitely love it. Last year, you got him a gift this time it'll be him giving you one.

The tired eyes you were having made your vision quite blurry. You lazily yawned and rubbed your eyes with a few tears escaping, "Maybe we should meet..."

To the special place where both of you would enjoy the day. A scenery that fits perfectly into the picture- You could smell the leaves already by just imagining the place and the sound of cars driving along in the distance.