new moon → t. caniff

august 5 2014

Tuesday

"I long for something that is safe and warm."

Currently Passenger is helping me through my breakup. It's like they know how to understand someone's pain. 'All the Little Things' is the album of theirs I've been listening to all day, but when Let Her Go startes to play, I use all my will power to skip the song.

Today I did the worst mistake of my life; I looked out the window for once. The black curtains dulled the room until the sun came in, blinding me. After a couple seconds of adjusting to the light, I started to slowly smile. The towns folks were all bright and cheery as kids ran down the sidewalk to the group that dressed up as fairies and handed out free cupcakes. My smile was turning real as a couple waved, giving me a smile and walking to their destination. As soon I started to think I was getting over him, he showed up. He had his arm around someone that looked familar, but was decked out in his merch. His smile was pure when he looked up, his eye catching mine. His face was perfect as usual; no tear stained cheeks, no red eyes. Taylor was smiling his usual bright cheery smile.

When he saw how broken I was he turned away, laughing at something he heard.

I cried and cried again. I feel like my heart was taped back together, but not even the tape could stopped the flame that led my heart into ashes again.