new moon → t. caniff

august 18, 2014

Monday

I finally gave in and took my phone back from mother's room. Matt and I have been getting pretty close lately and I'm honestly so happy about it. But, on the flip side of things, today is the first day of school.

For once I used my makeup to cover up the pain I was still dwelling on in my chest. My fellow classmates were chattering about me in whispers as I walked down the hallways. Eventually I snapped like the bitch that I am.

"What is everyone talking about!?"

"Taylor."

"I understand we broke up but y'all don't have to remind me."

"No, he's uh.. well, he's now dating Chelsie."

Chelsie. My best friend. Tears were inedible. I looked up to see my blonde friend with a pained look drawn on her perfect face.

"Look, I can explain."

I kept the tears back, my anger getting the best of me. "You know what? Fuck off. I don't need a friend who's going to be a selfish bitch."

After the catastrophe I ran home. Worse part? I bumped into Taylor, Mike, and Noah. By now tears were willingly fallen on my makeup face. Taylor held my arms carefully, looking me in the eye as I wiped the tears away. "Love, are you okay?"

"No, I'm not okay. Now go fuck yourself for breaking my heart and dating my best friend. Couldn't be anymore of a douche." I pushed him away as his own eyes filled with tears. Ha. He caused me weeks of heartbreak and pain. He deserves at least one second.

I don't want him to go through pain not even for one second. I will gladly soak it up like a sponge for him. But this pain is too much for me to handle. It was like the sun trying to burn its way brighter everyday so the moon will shine its brightest to the point where it hurts. I am currently the sun, soaking in all the pain so the moon so the moon will be happy to its content, no matter how sad the sun is.

It was only noon and I didn't even last the first day to my last year of high school. My tears are falling hard and fast like the very first day. Not even Matt's voice over the phone could calm me down.

I guess I lied to myself that I was over him.