Just Marauders Stuff

Regulus, oh dear Reg

TRIGGER WARNING FOR CHILD ABUSE, SELF HARM, MENTAL HEALTH PROBLEMS, TRAUMA, ALCOHOL AND MINOR THEMES OF ADDICTION, AND TRANSPHOBIA AND TRANSPHOBIC SLURS. 

Sirius had always had nightmares. He grew up learning, and forcing himself to hide it. Regulus also had nightmares, but Sirius was never aware of this.

Regulus always woke up in the middle of the night to whimpering coming from Sirius room. They would go in, and give him and extra pillow from their own room. They would sit beside his bed until Sirius breathing became normal again. Then they would go back to their own room and act as if nothing had happened the next morning. 

Ever since Sirius left, Regulus wasn't able to sleep at home. They would end up in the kitchen with Kreatcher, or reading a book on the floor, the only thing illuminating the pages was moonlight coming from a small window.

They were glad they were back at Hogwarts now, because this was the one place where they could actually see Sirius. 

There was only one problem, Sirius wouldn't talk to them anymore. The most they got from their once close brother would be a glare, snicker, or even on the more harsh days a whisper to the sandy haired boy standing next to him, who Regulus knew was named Remus. 

The weeks went on, and Regulus had stopped trying to maintain a relationship with their brother. For reasons unbeknownst to them, Sirius hated them. They were now more lonely than ever, and had more free time to dwell on the fact they weren't going to have anybody anytime soon.

The nightmares got worse. The bruises, cuts, scars, and pain also got worse. Especially right after Christmas. 

There was no way out for them. The constant need to be the perfect child was drowning them, they needed to make their parents proud. And if that meant staying silent while their parents took their anger out on them, then so be it. 

Regulus did find a friend though. His name was Barty Crouch Jr. He was there for Regulus whenever he needed him, and he always had a safe haven and an escape with him to help the young black. Alcohol was something Barty never seemed to run out of. If Regulus had a nightmare, he would be there next to their bed with a glass of whiskey. Regulus was studying and needed to let loose, he had a bottle of Vodka with him. Regulus saw his brother? Rum was put in the hidden pockets of his robes. 

Regulus now knew how to hide the fact that they were drinking Vodka, instead of what most people presumed water. 

Two months into the school year Regulus had started cutting. The sting the blade made against their skin always seemed to soothe the voices or doubt in their head. Hush all the things the Alcohol couldn't. 

No one knew but them. Why would they even need to know? It wasn't their worst habit anyway. 

Regulus knew where Barty had got his alcohol. This came to be a good thing, as now Barty was no longer speaking to them. 

One day in early January, the day after the Christmas break, Barty and Regulus were walking the loud and bustling Hogwarts hallway. A scrawny pale boy came walking next to Barty, striking up a conversation they weren't paying attention to, or trying not to pay attention too.

"This is my friend Regulus, his potions grades are through the roof. You should probably get him to help." He, and him. Those simple little phrases were grinding their gears. 

"It's they them."

"What?"

"It's they them." The scrawny boy whom Regulus only knew his name, which was a stupid ass name, scoffed.

"God first Mudblood's are taking over Hogwarts, now trannies?" Snape was pissing Regulus off more than anyone today. They had just stopped drinking deciding it was effecting their grades to much, and was irritated despite only being 10 hours sober.