Recovery: Modern Azulaang AU

Trying

Azula

"So..." Suki says, watching me play with my food. She had taken me to a place called the Jasmine Dragon. Their noodles are pretty good, I guess.

"What?" I snap, making her flinch.

"You don't have to do this." I say, averting my eyes,

"Do what?"

"Act like nothing ever happened. Like I I didn't hurt your or your friends,"

"You did hurt us. I'm not acting like it didn't happen. But I don't hold grudges, and I'm willing to forgive you if you really have no interest in being how you used to be."

She's lying, she's going to betray you the first chance she gets, and she'll never forgive you.

"And who said I won't go back to how I used to be?" I say, giving her a sly smirk. I see a look that I can't read on her face before she smiles at me,

"I trust you won't, that wouldn't go so well for you anyway," she says, smirking, "now finish your food, it's almost time for your session with Dr. Lim.

We leave for the therapist's office not long after that and right before I enter the room with Anna, Suki puts an arm on my shoulder,

"I'll be right her waiting for you when you're done," she says, giving me a warm smile.

Why is she being  so nice?

The door opens and an elderly lady, about mid fifties to early sixties comes out, giving me a warm smile,

"Come on in, Azula," she says,

I look back at Suki again and see that she's already flipping through some magazine, sitting on one of the chairs in the small waiting area.

I enter the room to see Anna, or Dr. Lim as I'm told, sitting on her chair, gesturing for me to sit down.

The office is small but cozy. There's a large window with the blinds up, letting in a sufficient amount of natural light. Dr. Lim's desk is situated behind where she is sitting, and there's a coffee table between her chair and a couch where I assume I'll be spending most of my time during these sessions.

I cautiously take a seat on the couch, my body stiff and wary.

"Shall we begin?" she asks,

"Do I have a choice?"

"Yes," Dr. Lim answers, smiling at me.

"Very well. Where do we start?"

"I'd like to know more about you first, if you don't mind,"

"Well, what's there to say? I'm Azula, daughter of Ozai, the Crime King of the Fire Nation,"

"Hmm," she says, writing something down on her notebook.

I extend my back, trying to see what she's writing but she expertly hides it from me.

"You said your father was a criminal, how was growing up in a home like that?" she asks as she finishes taking her notes,

"Criminal," I scoff, "he was the king of any criminal activity in our home town. And what's there to say? Zuko and I both knew about it ever since we were young. It was just the norm in our household. Zuko never wanted any part of it, though. That's why I was always father's favourite. Zuko mostly spent his time with our mother before she left."

"So you're saying that your father loved you more and your mother favoured Zuko?"

"Love? I never said anything about that. Father taught me love was for the weak, and we're not weak."

"I wouldn't say love is for the weak. Love can make you strong,"

Really?

"How?" I ask curiously,

"Well, our love can sometimes be what's worth fighting for... what's worth living for."

No one will ever love you.

"That... that's not true! Love can be used against you, manipulate you into following someone's every command!"

"That's not love, Azula. That's plain manipulation. Real love can make you stronger. Real love can set you free."

"Free from what?" I ask,

"That's what we're here to find out,"

Perhaps having someone you can depend on wouldn't be too bad....

It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, talking to Dr. Lim. She's a very intelligent and insightful woman. Perhaps I could enjoy talking to her. Our one hour session pretty much flew by. We talked about my childhood and we also got into my mental breakdown. Tears were almost shed on my part, but I did not let them fall.

Right now, I was back at the apartment, watching tv with Suki,

"How'd it go, by the way?"

I snap out of my thoughts and look at her, my eyebrows furrowed in confusion,

"Your  talk with Dr. Lim, I mean," she chuckles,

"Oh, of course. It went well, I suppose. It was... easy to talk to her."

"That's good to hear. Zuko would be happy that you think so. He was so worried you wouldn't want to. He really cares about you, you know. Despite everything that's happened,"

Zuko... cares about me?

"He told you that?" I ask,

"No, but he didn't need to. I see it in his actions,"

Suki and I talked for awhile longer after that before she had to leave. She actually isn't that bad. Perhaps I wouldn't mind her being my friend.

If she even wants to be friends with you.
Of course she does... she wouldn't act this way with me if she didn't, right?
Wrong. She's using you. Some way... some how....

"No! She wouldn't do that!" I yell in frustration.

I need to get this wretched voice out of my head. The sooner, the better.

I decide to distract myself by taking a nap, and a few hours later, I wake up to the amazing smell of food. I step out of my room to see Zuko cooking.

"Hey," he says, smiling at me.

"Have a seat, I'll be done in a minute."

After he cooks, he sets a plate of fried rice infront of me, placing one for himself too.

"Fried rice?" I ask,

"Yeah. Sorry it isn't much, I'm still not that much of a cook. Katara usually handles that part when she's around,"

Right, he's dating her.
Wait...

My eyes widen in realisation,

"No! It's fine! I just.... haven't had your fried rice in over five years. You used to cook it for me all the time after mom left...."

"Oh yeah. I forgot about that..."

An awkward silence washes over us before he clears his throat,

"So, uh... how'd your talk with Dr. Lim go?"

"Fine. I didn't hate talking to her. Maybe I'll continue..." I see his eyes light up at my words, and his grin almost causes me to smile myself.

"That's really great to hear, Azula!" he exclaims, putting a hand over mine.

"Mhm, well... I'm really hungry... I'm gonna..."

"Right, of course, go ahead." he says, taking his hand of mine, giving me one last smile before tucking into his food as well.

The fried rice is as good as I remember. If not better.

"Mmmm, this is quite good, Zuzu. Have you been practicing?" I attempt to joke,

"Well, I pretty much live on this during exam weeks. I'm glad you like it," he says, giving me a shy smile.

Perhaps.... this new but awkward dynamic between us wouldn't be too bad...