Chapter Six

2.2K 52 17
                                    

Amelia's POV

After the little stunt I pulled in the great hall with Nott, I couldn't help but feel giddy. I like the feeling of being in control, the feeling of holding power just hyped up my ego, not that it could be any bigger than it was.

Notts lips were soft and tasted of his morning coffee, I can't deny I didn't enjoy the kiss. I never did anything with the boys let alone kissed any of the boys in our friend group before as I knew they all had a thing for me and I didn't want them to get up hopes of there being a possibility of more than a friendship with me.

Anyone else was fair game as it wasn't difficult to ditch them after I was done. One time I hooked up with Cedric Diggory it was easy play to be honest, he always flirts with me any chance he gets. One night after Pansy's birthday party in the common room, he couldn't keep his hands of me. I honestly knew what he wanted and I gave it to him. I can't deny he wasn't attractive... I mean have you seen that boy... anyways I have needs just like anyone else. After that we ended up hooking up for about a month and he confessed his feelings for me and that he wanted more than a late night shag.

I couldn't bring myself to let it continue anymore as I didn't want to hurt him so I cut it off there and then. He wasn't pleased to say the least, but better that than leaving him heartbroken further down the line.

I don't mean to be the way I am, in ways I wish I could open up and allow myself to become close to someone. It sounds nice, I see pansy with Hermione and I can see the love the feel for each other. They would pick each other up when needed, one would tell the other off and set them in the place when needed. They always had each other through thick and thin and it low key made me wish I could have that.

I can't have that.

I cannot allow myself to be a victim of cruelty and be demanded around like some slave, like my mother is with my father.

My father is cruel.

He never loved her, so he never even respected her. Walked all over her and made her feel worthless. It was vile having to watch her break down every night crying over his words and actions towards her.

I was only a child, i had to pick her up everyday and night wiping away her tears. I would make her food and read to her to calm her down. I watched her as my father bet her before my own eyes. He was a drunken man with anger issues. It has scarred me beyond belief. I had to beg him to stop, which resulted in me being thrown across the floor with a hard push. Eventually I got her away from him and brought her up to my room and tucked her into my bed and rubbed her hair until she feel asleep. I stayed up all night sitting on the cold floor just watching her sleep. Looking her from head to toe covered in bruises and dry up blood. She didn't deserve how she was treated. That's the day I swore to myself.

That can't be me.

I won't allow it.

Love seems nice but in reality it's bullshit. I've watched the boys play endless amount of girls, telling them every little thing they needed to hear. Promising the sun, moon and stars just to get what they wanted and then kick them to the curb once they got what they needed.

Maybe I was the same?

Did I do that to boys?

No I couldn't, I've always been very open about not wanting more than a harmless but of fun. I suppose it comes off as I'm a heartless witch but thats the person I play of to be.

I'm not heartless.

I just will never allow myself to be weak with men.

———————

Property Of No One  [M.R, D.M, T.N]Where stories live. Discover now