leather - negan x reader

chapter eleven - break on me

my slumber didn't last long because i'd dreamt of danny's death again. it was horrifying at the beginning, watching him being bitten on his shoulder. but it was peaceful for a bit when i held him for hours - talking to him like he wasn't really going anywhere.

but then, he smiled at me - the last smile he would give me. he reached his hand to cup my cheek, "take care of kasey. tell him i love him. i love you, y/n. and though i wish we could be together forever, we can't. i need you to take care of kasey and move on from me. not immediately, of course," he coughed up a chuckle, "but i want you to be happy and loved. you deserve it, my love. i love you, y-y/n."

tears flowed down my face as his hand went limp, just like it had done two years ago. i repeated my words, "no, danny, no. danny, i love you. you can't go yet. don't leave, please."

"hey," i hear. "wake up, it's okay," negan repeats. i wake to him cupping my cheek.

"don't leave, please," i clutch to his hand as i cry more.

"i won't, i'm not going anywhere."

"promise?"

"promise. you know i'd really appreciate if you told me you're real name," he says as i snuggle back into his chest.

"y/n, my name is y/n," i say against his chest.

"i like it, it's very you."

"mhm," i say as i pull him impossibly closer.

"go back to sleep, i'm not going anywhere. i promise." he says as he runs his fingers through my hair. i can't, though. i can't sleep.

every time i close my eyes i see danny's dead body. i see chibs and jax pulling me back while opie puts a knife in his skull. negan somehow senses it and slides his warm hand onto my bare back, rubbing it slowly.

finally, i can't fight it anymore and go back to sleep.

next morning...

i wake up to his scent and the sun rising. i know i have to get up. i know i have to but i can't. i don't ever want to get up. i stay there, laying with him for another hour before he wakes up.

he groans as he stretches, pulling away from me. i shiver automatically and pull the sheets up. "hi," he smiles at me. "how do you feel?"

"not great," i groan.

he pulls me back to him, "this better?"

"maybe."

"so i'm growing on you?"

"maybe."

"maybe isn't an answer, love," he says. his name for me struck my heart in two different ways.

grief hit me again, it was what danny called me. but i also loved it, i loved when he called me that.

"it is, though. thank you for last night, and right now i guess," i say against his chest.

"i'll always be here for you, even though i am quite a jackass. i'll always be here for you," he says after pulling back to look at me.

i can't resist it, he's too...i don't know the word for it and i don't care.

i place a hand behind his neck and push him to me. we kiss passionately as his hands trail down my body. he pulls back, "i'm not doing that right now. not today, not while you're like this," he brushes my hair behind my ear, "but it doesn't mean i can't keep doing this." he leans down, reconnecting our lips.

his hand travels down below me, squeezing my ass. i moan slightly into his mouth, he smiles against my lips. "i really wanna stay right here, all day. but i can't, i've gotta go home. this doesn't mean that you can't come to visit me though."