leather - negan x reader

chapter thirty-two - red flags and long nights

5 months later...

"seriously, negan? after all this fucking time, they're still around? seriously?" i scream. he stands there, speechless. "i'm in fucking love with you, don't you get that? i'm in fucking love with you and you just - you fucking lied again. again. after i gave you a second chance." i was too angry to think. "screw this and screw you," i slam the door in his face before heading outside. i climb on the motorcycle and drive home.

he seriously didn't get rid of his wives. for six. fucking. months. i've been his side chick. i've been the girl stupid enough to fall in love with him. my bike reaches at least 100 miles per hour as i speed back home. i'm livid, my skin is vibrating with anger.

i'd gone to surprise him. lingerie and all. but i walked in on him and his wives. he played it off, acting like i'd known about them the whole time. but then i snapped and fucking ran. i cleared my schedule for this. i'd moved all this shit around so i could see him. but he just goes and-

i cut myself off mentally and slow the bike down. a motorcycle crash really wouldn't help me right now.

after making it home, i spend a week or two dwelling in my anger. it grew over time, then shrank, then grew again.

all i knew was that i was pissed at him. why couldn't i be enough for him?

everyone around me noticed the 'fuck off' demeanor i'd held since then. chibs, jax, and tig had asked multiple times what was wrong. they even sent my mother and tara to check on me. mia still lingered at the clubhouse, and she even tried to see what was wrong.

last night, i ended up breaking down and telling tara and cyndie everything. these past few months cyndie and i had grown close, it was like she'd taken mia's spot - without all the feelings involved, of course. we had a lot in common and i guess we never saw how perfect a friendship would be for us.

cyndie told me she knew exactly what could help me. "come stay at one of the beach houses for a few days. just get some space from this place, that ought to help at least a little," cyndie said.

"she's right. chibs and jax can run the place for a few days. if anything happens we can radio you," tara said.

and now, i'm heading there. i'd be gone for a week. in that time, a meeting would occur, but chibs assured me he could handle it. he was also handling negan - who was still radioing to check on me. but he wasn't pestering like last time, which somehow made me more angry.

after talking with cyndie for a bit when i arrived, she escorted me to a secluded, solar-powered beach house. she said the water was constantly watched so any washed up zombies would be handled by her guards, though after all these years, they'd be more surprised of one washed up. she also told me that her grandma had stocked the place and left a pistol in the bed side table if i needed it.

"thank you, cyndie. really. i don't know what i'd do without you," i hug her.

"probably never get over that jackass."

"yea, probably," i laugh.

"now, i'm gonna check in on you tomorrow. enjoy the peace and let me know if you need anything."

"i will," i smile at her. she waves before walking out the door.

when she shuts the door behind her, i drop my act. i was utterly exhausted and confused. i knew i never should have gotten into it with him.

i force my thoughts aside and explore the house. the entire interior of the house - except for the bedrooms - was painted a pale blue. as expected, the decorations consisted of seashells and fish and anything to do with the beach.