Pat: sarcasm won't get you anywhere
Julian: well it got me to the Sarcasm World Championships in '98
Pat: did it?
Julian: no
incorrect ghosts quotes
Table of contents-
julian's always right
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me time
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upsetting comments
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wig
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hot damn
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wait no
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dark bidding
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call the police
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do you need a hug?
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muggy
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who said that
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thick skin
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look at my dress
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hug it out
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i'm suffering
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a radiant bride
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i don't know
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two straws
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on a good day
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that is mahogany
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i would never
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duck
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tell him i said something
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not until four
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hey thomas
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a safe flight
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you wouldn't hurt a fly
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countdown
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mary's thought process
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a bunch of baby ducks
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no thank you
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elf on a shelf
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look inside yourself
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something
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she has a husband
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knitting needles
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patrick
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edge
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this is your captain
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why did you laugh?
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alison's proposal
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can't sleep
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so what's the plan?
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denial
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yeehonk
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mixed messages
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a romantic tone
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bromance
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humphrey is funny
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what are you even charged with?
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oops
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julian in the box
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dinner
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waiting in the fridge
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did you die?
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shut up moon
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this isn't about her
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sarcasm world championships
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alison's coping mechanism
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horrible old women
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robin don't do that
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secret signal
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top 3 desires
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doing the worm
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strong, confident and handsome
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the pet snake
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narration
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your name is kitty
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thin ice
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an unwanted conversation
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things i didn't ask for
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shut up nerd
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just kinda there
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eyebrows
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keyboard smash
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a game with no consequences
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robin is also here
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secret
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dinner at 7-eleven
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a loss for words
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two things
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he clearly did it
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tom nook
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seven stages of grief
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who's robin?
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charming
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kiss, marry, kill
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the crunch
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guess what i got
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how old are you?
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doing stuff
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bambi
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a package from beg-chetwynde
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yeeted or yote?
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humphrey bone
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hit it cap
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go to sleep
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a distraction
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what rhymes with dying?
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people like you
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spider game
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the back of my hand
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one brain cell
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take a wild guess
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alone all day
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punch the sun
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craving
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eyes behind my back
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a car person
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rainstorms
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dark white
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birthday cake
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onions
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mary's iq
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very very bad person
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building loyalty
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savage
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bro fam squad
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how flirt with girl
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verbally, but...
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lgbt rights
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i don't know how to say this
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j. r. r. tolkien
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the grapes
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the captain's real name
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boyfriends and girlfriends
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and?
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bacon in the toaster
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smug look
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it's funny because it's true
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maturity
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born for politics
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jemima is creepy
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the floor is hating patrick
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magical in bed
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x-ray
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in the basement?
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voldemort
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ridiculous
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unforgiven
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turn around
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cells
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vine language
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chocolate pudding
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imagine
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home alone
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bragging
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stockholm syndrome
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the worst day ever
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finish each other's sentences
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weed
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don't worry
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ask nicely
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just a crush
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we're clever too
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good morning
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half a beard
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dad?
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the mike cooper siren
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frank
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the things they lost
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a genius move
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i want it that way
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systemic oppression
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bench
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wednesday
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satanize the house
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girls
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burning love
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socks
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jump off a cliff
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any questions?
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sexy and important
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easter egg hunt
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gunpoint
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updog and henway
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ships
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first language
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don't be wholesome
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mi casa es tu casa
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sir
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thomas in b flat
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critical thinking
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how they pick who's in charge
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the walk of shame
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halloween
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unrealistic kink
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hoeski and broski
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cheese
-
talking about your feelings
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bi rights baby
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waking up
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pissing alison off
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not funny didn't laugh
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bottling
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officer kitty
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if movies existed in the 1820s
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two million pounds
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pulled over
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where's mary?
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