Betrayal | ✔️

12. Hiraeth/Fernweh

Hiraeth: A homesickness for a home you can't return to, or that never was.

Fernweh: An ache for distant places; A strong desire to travel to far off places; Being homesick for a place you've never been; A longing for unseen places even stronger than wanderlust.

- V i n c e n z o -

"La missione non è ancora completa!" Valerio yells at me, spitting in my face.
["The mission is not yet complete!"]

"Non posso continuare a fare questo!" I yell back, trying to calm him down, otherwise someone will hear us.
["I can't keep doing this!"]

He takes a deep breath before screaming at me."Oh mio Dio, Vincenzo, mi stai stressando! Non abbiamo tempo per questo! Fai innamorare Emma di te e basta!"
["Oh my God, Vincenzo, you're stressing me out! We don't have time for this! Just make Emma fall in love with you!"]

Really? I'M stressing HIM out? What about me? He's pressuring me to betray the woman I love! How does he think I feel? That's right. He doesn't.

"Tu non capisci. Io non-" I start to explain before Emma interrupts.
["You don't understand. I don't-"]

"So, that's all you wanted from me?" she sounds so hurt.

"You just wanted me to fall in love with you for your little Mafia?" She spits.

Little? Haha, no, it's HUGE. I go to tell her that when she holds a finger up, cutting me off. "Well, good job, Vincenzo! You completed your mission! Good job because I've fallen in love with you!"

What? No, she can't love me. But, what if she's not lying? What do I do? She starts sobbing even harder when she turns to run back to her car. I start to chase her, desperate to explain that I'm in love too, when she gets in her car and drives off.

I try to talk to her all week. I go to her work, I call her and sometimes, and I even go to her apartment. What if she runs away? What if she moves, or changes her phone number? What will I do then? The woman I'm in love with will be gone. The woman I'm in love with hates me. She has to understand that I was forced to do it. I was forced to play her, to infiltrate the American Syndicate. But, I'm not even completely sure that she is apart of it. She seems so sweet, so innocent. Could someone like that have witnessed horrors that you see here? No, she couldn't've. All we know is that her mother was apart of the American Syndicate. And, from what she's told me, Emma's mother ran away right after giving birth to her.

I haven't spoken to Valerio since Emma yelled at me. He'll probably just laugh at me, and that's not the energy that I need right now. I wish my sister was here. She'd know what to do. Maybe I should try to text her.

I pull out my phone and click her name.

Vincenzo: How are you, Vanna? It's been a while since we've talked. I need your help.

Vanna: Hello, Vince. I'm good, thanks. What do you need help with?

Vincenzo: I'm in love with a girl but she hates me because Valerio made me betray her.

Vanna: Oh, that's a tough one. Why did Valerio make you betray her? And how did you betray her?

Vincenzo: I had to make her fall in love with me for the Mafia because her mother is apart of the American Syndicate, and I had to infiltrate it. She overheard Valerio and I talking about it and came storming in. She started screaming at me and she said things like "Good job, Vincenzo! You completed your mission. You completed your mission because I'm in love with you!"

Vanna: Jesus Christ, Vincenzo. I don't know if she will ever get over that. I know I wouldn't.

Vincenzo: But, I'm in love with her. I don't want to let her go. How can I fix it?

Vanna: I don't know. Maybe just corner her and explain.

Vincenzo: Okay, thanks, Vanna. I will try that. You're a great sister.

Vanna: It's okay, text me what happens. Bye!