HIM and My WHYS [ PerthSaint ] Unedited

Chapter 16: Perth's POV

Yes, I am not ending this book without even giving Perth's side </3

...
P E R T H

I've been living my life in a routine which I wouldn't dare to change. But sometimes, I get sick and tired of being a robot who's always under someone's control, to not be able to move freely or do the things that I like afraid I might disappoint whoever's in control.

But one day, everything changed. The moment my eyes landed on the most beautiful man, I felt alive. His black hair that bounces softly everytime he walks. His raven eyes that's shines like the stars at night. His perfect pointed nose. His fair milky tone skin that looks very soft. And his plump pink lips. Everything about him just amaze me and little by little he brought hope in my dull world.

The truth is, I noticed him first before he could ever lay his eyes on me. It was the first day of school, he looks new so I got a little curious and decided to follow him. It was just my curiosity at first but then when I accidentally made him unconscious on the field, that's when I realized that I kinda wanted more.

I knew everything. I wasn't densed. I knew that he was following me around and I just acted like I didn't know because I like it. I like feeling his presence in the field, in the library and everywhere I go.

I've always wanted to confess when I see him but everytime I try to we'll always be interrupted. Sometimes, I'll be too nervous to speak so I'll just smile at him. I can't tell if he feels the same, I assumed once that he does but it's better to hear it from him.

When the time that I finally grew balls to confess that's when things around us became dull again. Love confessed that she likes me, I was afraid and I didn't want to hurt her, she's been a really good friend to me but I will never forgive myself if I give her a false hope that she doesn't deserve. Friendship was the only thing I could give her which she might didn't like because she's been avoiding me since. I was sad because I felt like I lost a friend, a very good friend.

When my birthday came I was very happy that everything went to normal again, or so I thought it did. It's not Love this time, rather it's my parents. They made it clear that they don't accept what I am and what I like. I've been quiet and had been thinking for 3 days of all the shits that's been happening around me. I just wanted to be happy, why is it so wrong for everyone?

After 3 days, I've finally decided on what to do. It was our graduation day when I waited for one person at the field. When he came, I was very happy. The joy of seeing him cannot be compared to anything. I just wish I could just stop time and stay like how we are forever but life doesn't work that way, it needs to keep going.

The talk with Saint was one of the best moments of my life not until we talked about me leaving. I could feel his mood going down which made me regret answering. Seeing him sad, hurts me as well and the pain doubles when I know that I was the reason behind it.

But you know what hurts the most? Seeing the person you want to hold badly walk away from you and you can't do anything than to just let him.

God knows I would do anything just to be with him. To finally hold his hands. To finally feel his touch. To be with him in general. I wanted to but I can't. I couldn't.

So, I'm now here at the airport, waiting for my flight. Bright and Plan was here as well but I gave them a task to deliver a possession, it's Saint's blue notebook that I forgot to return, I never opened it because I respect his privacy. I also wrapped it so that those nosy boys won't be tempted to open it. I hope it'll arrive to him safely.

*Passengers of flight 34, Thailand to London, please board now. Again, passengers of flight 34, Thailand to London please board now. Thank you.*

I heard the speaker say. It's my flight. I got up and looked at the entrance one more time. I knew it was impossible but I still hoped that maybe I can see him for one last time but there was no sight of him.

I felt my eyes watered as I finish my final requirements to be able to proceed in the plane. Every step closer to the plane felt like I'm leaving every piece of my broken heart with it which feels like I really am.

I remembered Bright saying Saint might be my 'right person at the wrong time' earlier which I disagreed because it's all a myth. For me, we will never meet a wrong person in our lives. There is a purpose for every person in our lives. There is a purpose for every person that we meet. They're either a blessing or a lesson. Either way, they were the right person at the right time.

Maybe they were the right person to hurt us for us to raise our standards, for us to know our boundaries and non-negotiables. Maybe they were the right person to leave us to know that we could stand on our own feet. Maybe they were the right person to break us so we could build ourselves up on our own. Or maybe they were the right person but for a different reason than we expected.

Life doesn't give you the people that you want, it gives you the people that you need.

And Saint was the right person that I needed but couldn't have. Some stories ends happily and some stories ends the way we don't want it to be and sadly, ours ended like the latter.

As I was about to take my final step I looked back again wishing for a miracle that never came. I smiled bitterly as I lost the battle of keeping my tears in and they ran freely down my cheek.

" I will always love you " I murmured to myself as I close my eyes while picturing his face one last time.

If love wasn't enough for us to be together then I'll find what is, in this lifetime or maybe in another.

***

I'm sobbing T.T why am I crying on my own book lmao